Second Chance
by WhoNewbie
Summary: How does one go back to a "normal" life after traipsing across the universe in a space and time machine? Martha Jones' search for answers begins here. . . Set a bit after Journey's End. My first venture into the Who Universe.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Of course I own none of the characters portrayed but do appreciate the show's producers and the BBC who do. **

**Second Chance**

**Prologue . . .**

Martha stood looking at herself in the mirror and realized that she didn't even recognize the woman looking back at her anymore. What happened to that promising young medical student so full of hope and a desire to help people at their most vulnerable? At what point had that stopped being the goal and something else took over? The answer could be summed up in two words . . . The Doctor. She wasn't blaming him; after all she made the choice to follow him that rainy night after her brother's birthday debacle. He, though, was like force of nature that just blew into your life and rearranged everything in it before vanishing once again, leaving chaos in his wake. She remembered a memo on him from when she worked at the UNIT that called him something like, the Oncoming Storm. The name fit him perfectly yet while he could simply move on to the next adventure, the next companion, the aftermath for those who were left behind was never as good as the ride before it.

This was the situation Martha now found herself in. Her life had become something unrecognizable to her. The moment she stepped out of the TARDIS after the final, failed Dalek invasion, everything she had always thought she wanted in life was forever altered. She quietly wondered to herself if she would ever know normalcy again or if she really wanted to. She inhaled deeply. For now all she wanted was to escape . . . escape all of the expectations, all the probing eyes . . . the disappointment of a life unfulfilled.

**Chapter One . . .**

She had made her decision but knew no one in her life would approve. That was why she waited until she knew everyone was otherwise occupied before leaving each of them a brief message explaining that she was fine but needed some time on her own. The truth was she was far from fine and hadn't been fine for years now. The feeling that she just didn't fit in anymore started during and after the Year That Never Was and had been haunting her ever since. She had seen too much, been a part of something that only a few people in the world even remembered and it changed her perspectives on everything. The things that had once been important no longer seemed so and so she attempted to set out on a different path only to find that one also didn't suit her. She, though, knew saying all of this to the people in her life would not allow her to do what she had been thinking about for the past few months. Martha also knew her condensed message would not placate any of them, especially her mother, which is why after she made those calls, with a special amendment to her message for Jack, she left her cell phone on her chest of drawers and walked out of her flat with nothing but a carryon, the money from her checking and savings accounts, her id and a one-way plane ticket away from a life that had become too much to bear. . .

A couple of weeks had gone by since anyone heard from Martha. She hadn't tried to make contact with anyone and her family and Jack had become increasingly concerned. Francine called him constantly trying to see if he had heard anything about her daughter. He assured her that he would contact her if Martha did contact him. Francine, though, seemed less convinced with each call. She relayed to him the state of things in Martha's flat when she first went to check on her. She had left almost everything behind, including all her credit cards and her cell phone. It was as if she was trying to leave everything she was behind. Jack tried to console her by pointing out that maybe the fact that she hadn't packed up everything was a positive thing. It could possibly mean she was planning to return on her own when she as ready. His rationale, though, offered little comfort. They both knew this was so unlike Martha. She was always so responsible and driven. To just vanish without much fanfare . . . it had happened only once before; when she was with The Doctor.

Francine brought up that possibility almost immediately. She was convinced that the Doctor had somehow lured Martha off again and was not shy about voicing her displeasure. She'd been witness to all the damage that her daughter's acquaintance with the Time Lord had caused. She'd watched her vibrant, career minded child turn into a cynical, war vet. As Jack listened to the worried mother rant, he too began to wonder if the pair was off on another adventure. It would make sense that if she wanted to get away he would be the person to call.

It was that thought that made Jack reconsider the message she had left him. Like with her family, Martha told him she was fine and just needed some time but she also left the number to her old mobile, her personal connection to their mutual friend, just in case something came up. He had been hedging about whether to make that call but after weeks of no contact and her family's worried calls, he decided he could wait no longer. He sat in his office waiting patiently as the phone rang once and then twice before it was answered by a familiar jovial voice, "Martha? Martha Jones?" "No, Doctor, but that answers my question," Jack returned. The Doctor furrowed his brow, "Jack? How did you get this number?" "From Martha . . . before she vanished." "What do you mean vanished?" the Doctor indignantly questioned.


	2. Chapter 2

** I really appreciate the interest. Just an FYI, I'm really into what makes the characters act the way they do so there may be a slow build in the beginning but hopefully it will make the story more engaging as it moves forward. Anyhow, here's the next chapter . . .**

**Chapter Two . . . **

As the sun rose over the already bustling city, Martha gazed out of the window of her rented studio apartment. The energy was so enthralling and just what she felt she needed. It was a chance to blend in, get lost in the crowd of unfamiliar faces and most importantly shed all the expectations her old life had burdened her with. Martha had grown weary of that expectancy. She was always the one expected to toe the line, succeed, hold everything together but how could she do that when she was barely holding herself together. Martha sighed. She was so tired of feeling suffocated by the promise she was supposed to have. She just needed to be for a while and see if she could regain her former self.

That was why she chose New York City for her escape. What was that old saying? If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. She smiled again, banking on that idea standing up. She was now happy that she'd never gotten around to getting rid of her place in the city after the UNIT office was eradicated by the Daleks. She briefly recalled her stint here. Work was her top priority so she didn't get a chance to explore the city the way she would have liked. Now, though, she had spent that past couple weeks exploring her surroundings, visiting some of the sights, especially the Statue of Liberty. A slight smile played on her lips as she thought about that view and how it had lured her back more than half a dozen times. It wasn't the easiest ticket in town but she had somehow managed to make it to the top twice and was always rewarded with a breathtaking view of the harbor and the city. There was just something about being there that made her feel on top of the world. She had plans to catch a couple of Broadway shows and investigate some of the featured neighborhoods such as Harlem as well but the heart of the city was where she felt like she had a chance to forget and embrace life again.

She turned from the window and continued her ruminations. This was her opportunity to enjoy the city without the threat of being kidnapped or an imminent alien invasion. She quickly stopped those thoughts. They were a big part of the reason she had chosen to leave her life behind. The weight of everything she had become was just taking too much of a toll and she knew if she didn't do something she might lose herself to it forever. And so as she gave one more passing glance out the window, she made herself a silent vow to do whatever it took to heal and take back her life while enjoying a long overdue hiatus in the city that never sleeps.

Back in England, the Doctor had arrived at Martha's flat shortly after he finished his conversation with Jack. Apparently, Martha had been slowly drifting away from everyone in her life. She'd been having a hard time since the stolen earth mess. Jack relayed that she'd been continually beating herself up over her threat to blow up herself and the planet during that Dalek invasion. Jack had argued that she didn't go through with it though and also that he didn't believe she could have but she made it clear until the moment she was transported onto the Crucible she wasn't so sure she wouldn't have. The Doctor remembered his own shock at her threat but like Jack he hadn't been so sure that she would have been able to go through it. Martha, though, appeared to disagree and that was disturbing. She was always so willing to do whatever was necessary even when it wasn't in her best interest but to think that she would have brought on the destruction of her own planet like he had struck a deep chord with the Doctor. Had he done that to her?

He momentarily shook off that thought and placed his focus back on the task at hand. He walked across the street and to the door of the two-story dwelling and had to smile in spite of himself. Martha Jones . . . strong, reliable, compassionate Martha, where did you go? He inhaled deeply before sonicking his way into her home, intent on answering that very question. As he entered the house, he was instantly struck by how bleak it felt. There was very little color, even fewer knick knacks or signs of a bright young mind occupying it. It was like a house without any life or personality of its own. The feeling was almost the exact opposite of the Martha who had once been his companion, so bubbly and full of life, ready to take the plunge on a moment's notice. The Doctor continued his stroll through the house gazing at the few mementoes and knick knacks that she did manage to have about. One in particular caught his interest, a ceramic tramp clown sitting on a bench with his hobo pack in its lap that sat on the fireplace mantle. He smiled lightly. At least, he thought, all her levity hadn't been extinguished.

His eye was eventually drawn to a glass encased cabinet that housed numerous pictures of her, family and friends. As he studied them, he noticed that the photos were arranged from the top, where she was a playful young child with her siblings down to the bottom where she stood barely smiling next to Mickey Smith of all people. It was strange to see the photos morph from a carefree youth to a more severe woman. They appeared to chronicle a life slowly disintegrating and he couldn't help but wonder about the role he had played in that collapse. Jack had also communicated to him about both of her ill-fated engagements. Tom Milligan couldn't handle the solider she was becoming as her work with the UNIT became more involved and Mickey embraced that part of her to the exclusion of everything else she was. Neither man seemed able to fulfill the balance she was desperately searching for.

He did some more cursory investigating, trying to find anything that might point him to where she might have gone. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary in either the living room or the kitchen and so he cautiously moved on to her bedroom. He paused outside of the door, feeling a bit like he was invading her privacy but tempering that with the belief that he was doing so to help her. The Doctor finally entered and found her room in almost military condition. The bed was perfectly made and everything was neatly in order from her clothing to her shoes lined up across the closet floor. It was this tidiness that first led the Doctor's eye to something slightly out of place. The offending item was barely detectable except that he was looking intensely for it. He moved over to her bookcase and noticed that the selections mirrored the photos downstairs. The first couple of shelves were medical books but as his eye traveled further down he noticed a decided shift in subject matter. Numerous war novels and biographies made up the next row but it was one book that sat slightly ajar from the rest that caught his eye.

A book of maps stood out from the rest of the fare and as he reached for it, he immediately noticed that the spine of the book was creased at a certain point, making it clear it had been opened to a particular section more times than any other. He opened it to find before him a map of the United States. He studied it intently and detected a faint circle around one city in particular. A small smile came to his face once more. His moment of discovery was abruptly cut short by a familiar, edgy voice.

"I knew it. Where is she? Where is my daughter?" The Doctor closed the book he had been holding and turned to face a distressed Francine Jones.


	3. Chapter 3

**This one is a shorty but it will lead into the Doctor and Martha finally coming face to face again. Thanks again for the continued interest everyone and enjoy!**

**Chapter Three . . . **

"Mrs. Jones . . . It's been a long time," he quietly offered.

A brief moment of remembrance about the year that never was passed between both of them before Francine regained herself and bluntly returned, "Where's Martha?"

He calmly replied, "I don't know."

She looked skeptical, "What do you mean you don't know? You're here in her house."

"I'm here because Jack called me and said she had disappeared. I was hoping to find something that might tell me where she went," he answered as he placed the book back on the shelf.

She sighed and took a seat on her daughter's bed. Her hope when she noticed the TARDIS across the way was instantly dashed by the reality that the Doctor had not whisked her off somewhere. Her daughter was still gone.

"This is a nightmare. She never would have done something like this before . . ."She let the implication hang in the air.

The Doctor nodded and then finished the thought, "Before she met me."

Francine turned and looked him straight in the eyes as she pointedly retorted, "She used to be so full of life, so enthusiastic about everything but after everything she's seen . . . she just lost that. She got so wrapped up in the world you introduced her to that she forgot how to be normal. Instead of looking forward to a rewarding career in medicine, she became a soldier in a war," she paused and pointed at him, "Your war."

The Doctor sighed heavily. He knew the situation was nowhere near as simple as Francine was presenting it but recognized some truth in the statement as well. When he met Martha she had a good head on her shoulders, had a focus and drive about her. She knew who she was and what she wanted to do but also had a sense of wonder and adventure that attracted him to her like a moth to a flame. Over her time with him, he saw those characteristics grow and strengthen even when she called him to help with the Sotarans she still appeared to be so together and in control. It was during the last Dalek invasion, though, that he saw the shift that had apparently led to this. The idea that she would even think of destroying Earth, let alone follow through with it showed him that the fun-loving, adventurous Martha Jones he had happened upon all those years ago was gone. She had seen too much and had morphed into someone as alien as he himself was.

He snapped out of his thoughts and looked to his former companion's mother as he softly offered the only thing he could think to at the moment, "I'm sorry."

Her gaze was steady upon him for a long moment as though she was testing the sincerity of his words and then in a stark tone she retorted, "I don't want your apology. I want my daughter back . . . the one that you stole from me."

"Mrs. Jones . . ." she though cut him off, "No, you're going to listen to me for once and hear me. She adored you. She turned herself inside out for you . . . did anything you ever asked of her and lost herself all for you and look what it got her. You took my beautiful, sweet baby girl and left me with a hardened, cynical woman whose only goal was to fight the next threat. It cost her a good man in Tom but more importantly it cost her a chance at a normal life, with a career, a family and joy. For that, I may never be able to fully forgive you."

The Doctor only nodded sadly. After what happened with Donna, he too had began to wonder if he was causing more harm than good in the lives of the humans he chose to be his companions. It was clear Martha was deeply affected by her time with him and not all of it, or even most of it, in a good way. The Time Lord completely understood her mother's disdain and made no attempt to deny her that. Yet after his discovery earlier, he thought the least he could do was try and locate his wayward former companion and reunite her with the people who cared about her.

So with as much conviction as he had ever had he moved closer to the distraught mother and declared, "I promise you, Mrs. Jones, I will do everything within my considerable powers to bring her back to you."

She rose but didn't reply as he turned and began to leave. Just as he made it to the door, she found her voice once more and quietly implored, "When you find her, please tell her that I do really love her."

He turned briefly, gave her a small smile and nodded before continuing on to find his absent companion.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the delay but the chapter refused to end, LOL. Without further ado, Martha and the Doctor come face to face again . . . **

**Chapter Four . . .**

Martha stood enthralled by the late night view of Manhattan from the observation deck of the Empire State building. It was magnificently breath taking and forced her to admit she had been silly to contemplate not coming at all. She was fearful that returning to the now finished structure would remind her too much of things she was consciously trying to forget. Yet after the initial flash of memories of pig workers and hate filled aliens passed, she immediately began to take in the enormity of her surroundings. The city mesmerized her and eventually allowed her mind to wander to less unpleasant thoughts. The past few months were a jumble of emotions but she now felt glad to have some time to let go and not think on anything too complicated.

Unfortunately, her new found peace was destined to be short lived. As she continued her quiet ruminations, her reverie was shattered by a familiar if unwelcome sound. Had it not been for the fact that it was late night on a Monday and she was nearly alone on the deck she might have chalked it up to her imagination but when she felt that familiar draft that accompanied his arrival she knew she'd been found. Immediately all the tension she spent weeks trying to release came flooding back as she heard and felt the TARDIS materialize behind her. Martha resisted the slight urge to turn and greet the machine as she had done so many times in the past. Instead she continued facing the brilliant view of New York at night and waited.

The Doctor peeked out before making the leap out of his door. He received more than a few contrary looks when he had bounded out of his ship at his two previous stops, the Statue of Liberty and the Metropolitan Museum of Art. The TARDIS had been trying to hone in on the young doctor for the better part of the day. What he had never shared with Martha was that once someone became one of his companions, the TARDIS could track them just about anywhere. He didn't make it a habit to use such methods, not wanting invade their privacy, but in this case he felt it was his best chance of locating her in a city so large. The problem was because Martha had probably recently been at some of these places, the ship could not distinguish her immediate location right off. Eventually, though, they got a bead on the Empire State Building and the Doctor just got a feeling that this time they had hit the jackpot. After all, this was the scene of one of their many adventures and he had a feeling she wouldn't be able to resist returning to see it again, without the threat of an alien attack. He lightly patted his ship and smiled slightly as he thought the third time was definitely the charm.

He finally stepped completely out onto the deck and instantly recognized the familiar frame leaning against the railing of the observation deck. Her thick black hair flowed freely down her shoulders and back while gently blowing in the breeze as she stood, unmoving before the engulfing site of the city. The place was basically deserted except for the solitary figure silently gazing off into the night. He knew she knew he was there but she had yet to acknowledge his presence. He guessed he understood, considering the last time they had seen each other the best either of them could muster was a half -hearted salute. She was definitely not the same Martha who used to beam whenever he would enter the room. It appeared the thrill had definitely gone for her and he could only assume it was because the life she had been leading. The life, her mother had pointed out, that he introduced her to. He sighed inwardly and waited.

Well after the noise had died down and she was sure he had stepped out and was just staring at her, Martha, still without turning around, finally, grudgingly sighed and asked, "How did you find me?"

She had hoped that by leaving her phone behind she would have precluded contact with anyone from back home and kept Jack or even the Doctor from triangulating her location.

The Doctor, when he realized she wasn't planning to turn and face him, finally answered airily, "Oh, I took a guess or two or three and well . . . I'm clever."

Martha rolled her eyes and smirked. Typical Doctor response and probably the best answer she would get at this point. It, though, didn't even really matter now. The fact was he had found her. What did matter was why.

So after another lengthy silence between the two former traveling companions, she sighed again and asked the next obvious question, "Why are you here?"

He quickly and smartly retorted, "I would think that was quite obvious."

Martha finally did turn around but instead of a knowing smirk, he might have expected, she faced him with her arms folded over her chest and a less than pleased look punctuated by an arched eyebrow. Her stare was cold and hard and even the Doctor recognized the look of a woman not to be trifled with.

So more gently, he continued on, "Martha, you have to know that everyone back home is worried about you. Your mother and Jack, to name a few, are beside themselves wondering where you are."

"I left them all a message telling them I was leaving for a while," she replied.

"And then you promptly cut all contact . . . I mean come on, of course they are going to be concerned," he volleyed back.

Martha got the distinct impression that he was trying to lay a guilt trip on her but she refused to yield. Instead she tersely lobbed back, "They shouldn't be. I let them know I needed some time for myself and that should have been enough. If I had known Jack was going to use that number to get you involved I would never have given it to him."

"Why? I'm your friend too, Martha. He was obviously distressed enough that he thought I should be in the loop."

Martha rolled her eyes again and flatly returned, "The last time I checked I was still a grown woman, capable of deciding my own path. That means I don't need permission or have to consult with anyone when I decided to take some time for myself. And I most definitely don't have to justify my decision to anyone including you."

The Doctor was stunned at the harshness of her tone as well as her words. The Martha Jones he knew would never be so callous about other people's feelings. Her nature was always to protect and heal but now she seemed so . . . bitter and unsympathetic. It scared him and not much did. He could tell that underneath all the hostility and coolness was a lost soul trying desperately to regain some normalcy, whatever that meant. So he tried again to reach her as he moved in closer and replied, "I know you don't mean that. Your family means everything to you. Do you really want to make them worry unnecessarily? Couldn't you just call them and let them hear for themselves that you're OK?"

Her defensive position remained intact but her tone softened slightly, "I will . . ." A small triumphant smile that began to play on his lips was short lived. Just as he thought he had once again charmed her to his view of things she abruptly concluded her thought, "When I'm ready."

"Martha, "he prepared to reason with her again but she cut him off.

"Enough. Why are you here, Doctor, really? I'd imagine you have more important things to be thinking about than my domestic situation. Shouldn't you be gallivanting across the universe with Rose and Donna?" she returned.

The subject more than her tone caused the Doctor to recoil. He noticed a tinge of mocking and bitterness in her final comment that he understood considering their history. She had no way of knowing that not only had he given up Rose, leaving her with his doppelganger in the alternate universe, but also that Donna was also lost to him. He had again taken to traveling on his own and hadn't been in contact with anyone on earth since then. The Doctor silently gazed at his remaining companion and briefly longed for the more compassionate Martha. The one who would feel his pain and try to soothe it but he quickly brushed those thoughts aside. He had no right to expect anything of her especially when she herself was apparently going through so much. No, he knew now was not the time to bring up any of this. This was about Martha and not losing her as well.

So putting aside his own pain, he softly, and with what he hoped she saw as sincerity, spoke to her. "I'm here because I care about you, Martha. I don't want to see you hurt or upset. I want to help make things right so that you can go on and have a happy life."

Martha studied him for a long moment. She could sense that he genuinely wanted to help but how could she make him understand that he was part of the problem. Just his very presence . . .

She finally looked him directly in the eyes and with a much more temperate manner replied, "I do appreciate your concern, Doctor, I really do but I will be fine."

"You don't have to be here in this big city all alone, running from whatever it is you're running from. You have so many people who want to help you through this, including me. Just let us in . . . let me in."

He paused and tenderly framed her face in his hands before quietly finishing, "Let me help you the way you have helped me so many times before."

For a brief moment, Martha felt that familiar twinge she used to always get when he came near her or gave her any real attention at all. It was almost like he actually saw her as a dynamic individual . . . as someone he could deeply care about but just as quickly she pushed those feelings aside. There was no way in hell she was going to give him that kind of power over her again. It took her a long time to put those fancy notions to rest but she had managed to do just that and no amount of basic concern he showed was going to change that.

So just as abruptly as her thoughts had shifted, she stepped out of his seemingly affectionate grasp and frankly returned, "What I need is for people to respect my decision. What I need is the opportunity to sort out my own life without any interference from others, as well meaning as their attempts might be. When I have done that, then I will decide what comes next."

The Doctor took a step back as well. He was more than a little hurt by her rejection not just of his offer of help but his touch. He briefly recalled a time when she would have welcomed and even craved his attention. Now as he stood looking at her, the Doctor could see she had surely changed. She had no more fanciful ideas about them, a realization that stung more than he was ready to admit just then. Martha had now built up a wall to protect herself but in the process was also blocking out those who loved and cared for her. He knew there was no way he could leave things as they were. If he had indeed set this downward spiral in motion, he would not rest until her set it right again. He needed . . . no wanted to help her. She was all he had left. He, though, decided in her present state to take a step back. Pushing her now would only fortify those walls.

So with a soft sigh of his own, he conceded, "Alright. If that's what you really want."

She nodded firmly, "It is."

He turned without another word and headed back towards the TARDIS.

Martha watched him go and inwardly sighed. She hated for things to end this way. As much as she was trying to regain her independence and strength, she couldn't help but hold onto that part of her that wanted everyone else to be alright too.

"Doctor," she called out just as he was stepping back into his ship.

He turned and looked at her expectantly as she quietly said, "If you want to, you can tell them you saw me and that I said don't worry about me. I will figure this out."

He gave her a faint smile and nodded then before he could make his exit he remembered the message he was suppose to pass along.

"Oh yeah, your mother asked me to tell you that she really does love you."

She was struck by those words immediately but covered with a slight smile of her own and a quiet thanks. The Doctor then vanished inside and seconds later so did the ship. Martha turned back to the view and let her thoughts wander back to the reason for her mother's message.

_She and her mother were having another go around about her life's direction after Martha told her about breaking things off with Tom. Francine had been livid and let it show. "Martha, what are you doing? Tom is a good man who loves you. Why would you want to give that up?" _

"_Because, Mum, he doesn't get how important my work is to me. He thinks I should be content to play house and work at the hospital but after everything I've seen . . . I can't confine myself to that kind of life. There's a bigger universe to take into account now."_

"_What happened to you? What happened to the young woman who wanted to make a difference in this world," her mum lamented. _

"_She realized that this world is but one of infinite possibilities. I can't be what it is you and Tom want me to be. I just can't." _

_She then turned to leave her mother's home, trying to end the conversation before things could escalate further. Unfortunately, she didn't make her exit fast enough. Her mother had followed her to the door and before she could open it Francine cut through her daughter with her next words, "This is all because of him, isn't it? You're still holding on to some farfetched dream that he will fly in and sweep you away again. Well I've got a news flash for you, Dr. Jones, you're not a little girl anymore and life is not a fairytale. The real world is about having a good career, a good man and raising a family and you'll never have any of that with the Doctor." _

_Martha cut her eyes fiercely at her mother. The truth was after their last encounter Martha had officially given up on the Doctor. When she finally met Rose, she knew they would ride off into the sunset and she would have to get on with things. Alas that turned out to be easier said than done. It was shortly after words that things began to fall apart with Tom. Martha, though, was so miffed that her mother was throwing the Doctor back in her face that before she could stop herself she harshly retorted, "Yeah, because I see how that life worked out so well for you. Well, Mum, I have a newsflash for you as well, I don't want your life and I'm sick of you trying to live out your failures through me. God, I don't think you ever really loved me . . .the real me. Only what I represented for you. Tish is the flake fluttering from one thing to the next, Leo is the black sheep doing whatever feels right at the moment and Martha is the "golden child" who always did what was expected of her. Well no more! I will live my life as I like and you will either accept that or bugger off!"_

_Both women had been so stunned at the venom and accusations of that conversation that they hadn't had another decent one since._

Martha fought back the stinging tears threatening to fall as she continued to gaze out at the late New York sky. So much for putting the past behind her.

Meanwhile back in the TARDIS, the Doctor was debating his next move. He knew leaving her alone was the last thing he would do but he had to be discreet or she would push him and everything she left behind further away. He also recognized that no matter what she said she was anything but fine. He wanted to be there when she figured that out and needed someone to help her pick up those pieces. He couldn't lose her like he had both Donna and Rose. He just couldn't.


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for the delay. I was trying out a couple of different ideas and I liked this one best so hopefully you will enjoy it as well. Also since you can't copy song lyrics here, you'll have to use your imagination some with this chapter. The song being referenced occasionally is Brandy's Have You Ever. I think its totally fitting with this pairs canonical relationship to this point. Anyhow, here's my next offering . . . **

**Chapter Five . . .**

It had been two weeks since the Doctor unexpectedly showed up in New York and he now remained firmly on Martha's mind. 'Damn him' she thought. Why did he have to be the one to track her down? She felt like if her family or even Jack managed to do so, she would have been able to deflect their concerns easier because she had gotten very good at masking her true feelings for their benefit. But the Doctor . . . the Doctor had perfected that little dance. It was during her time with him that she learned how to appear to be "fine" when there was so much more going on underneath. She couldn't fool the master and it irked her immensely. The other part of it was that she had been fighting old tendencies since his unannounced arrival. On the one hand she knew it shouldn't matter one iota that he seemed to be genuinely concerned about her but because of their previous relationship she was finding it hard not be overly pleased that he was.

Martha knew she would only be lying to herself if she pretended that it didn't affect her somewhat but unlike in the past she refused to let her musings go beyond that. She'd been down this road before, reading too much into a situation, the kiss on the moon coming to mind. He would be concerned for anyone he thought was in trouble and she would chide herself whenever she thought of it as anything more. Besides, if it was more than basic concern he wouldn't have given up so easily . . . no, he had his precious Rose back and his best buddy Donna to traverse the universe with now. She was and would remain a minor blip on his screen. She sighed to herself . . . some things never change.

The Doctor sat off in a darkened corner discreetly watching her as he had for the past couple of weeks. He knew this was closely bordering on stalking but he needed to see her with her guard down. He needed to understand what had changed so drastically with her and maybe, hopefully, find a way to help her regain her former self. For the past two weeks he'd watched her sightsee like any other visitor to New York, Soho and Harlem being some of the highlights. As she shopped and chatted with a variety of people, he had to admit she did seem more relaxed here but there was still something just on the fringe that appeared to be insecurity. He noticed that she didn't speak until spoken to and that she rarely made prolonged eye contact. Small things to the casual observer but to the Time Lord they spoke volumes. Martha was never one to shy away from contact and definitely never waited for the conversation to start.

He was brought back to the present and continued to study her from afar as she now sipped thoughtfully on her drink and appeared to be immersed in the intimate atmosphere of the rhythm and blues club she had ducked into earlier that evening. He'd waited for her to get situated before eventually following her in and tried to make himself as inconspicuous as possible once inside. It was a nice set up with a number of small round tables encircling a generous dance floor and at the front of the house stood a small stage where, it was lauded on an outside chalkboard that, live performances were also offered. At the moment a petite middle aged African American woman stood upon that very stage singing a sultry but melancholy tune. The Doctor caught bits and pieces of the lyrics and then looked at the young woman sitting alone at the bar lost in the music and, he would venture, her own thoughts. He knew that part of her distraction was due to his denial and refusal to acknowledge the very things the singer was now portraying.

His indifference, as she saw it, had contributed to the cynical demeanor she now enrobed herself in but if he was honest with himself, he knew that apathy was the last thing he had ever felt about the then spry young medical student. It was the fact that from almost the instant that he met her, he knew she was what he needed that had began his carefully crafted charade of indifference. He hadn't too long before that lost Rose for the first time and the thought of replacing her, ever, was too much to take, especially so soon after. But when Martha had given her last breath to save him on the moon, he knew she was something special . . . something he could not afford to do without. She had become a more than capable companion in her own right over their time together but he had gotten so used to keeping her at a distance that when she decided to walk away, he couldn't even bring himself to stop her. Now here she sat all alone in a foreign city, away from family and friends, searching for the pieces he had slowly chipped away while they were together. He had never treated Rose that way and Donna would have never stood for it but Martha stayed for so long in spite of his behavior and he was dying to know why. Even human love had its limits, he knew. So why would someone with so much to look forward to put up with a crotchety old Time Lord?

Martha smirked inwardly at the passionate words being sung. This could be her official theme song, she thought. Pining away after someone who barely knew you existed and convincing yourself if you just hang in a bit longer they will come around . . . what a crock! No, the reality was it was human nature to want things you can't have. After all, in Tom she had found someone who indeed saw her, in fact adored her and what did she do? She pulled a Doctor and constantly compared him to the alien and never fully acknowledged his feelings for her even after she accepted his ring. He tried so hard to make their life together good and she continually pushed him away because deep inside she knew she was just using him to forget her own slight.

It made her feel good to be desired again . . . to make herself believe she wasn't the one with the problem but in the end, she knew she could not marry this good-hearted man. She couldn't make a life with him when the life he wanted, with the two of them working side by side and eventually having a family of their own was not something she had much interest in. She was never meant to be a Suzy Homemaker and she was more acutely aware of that fact the more he began to hint at it. She exhaled. When did she get so messed up? When did she become a user?

Before she could delve any deeper into those thoughts her contemplation was interrupted by a throat clearing and the vision of mocha prince standing before her. Martha glanced up into a pair of startling light brown eyes but refused to give much more acknowledgement than a raised brow until the gentleman put on a devastating smile and suavely began, "Who was he and how could he be so stupid?"

"Excuse me?" she asked with slight confusion.

His smile only grew as he explained, "Who was the idiot that allowed such a beautiful woman to come out all alone?"

Martha finally relaxed her tense visage and gave a half smile of her own, "Maybe he wasn't the stupid one."

The handsome young man raised a brow but his smile never wavered as their banter continued, "Oh, I highly doubt that."

Her smile was fully on display now as he finally got to the reason he came over. He held out a hand and dashingly asked, "May I have this dance?" Martha looked from his face to his hand and then back into his eyes. She usually would have declined, knowing she was in no condition to entertain even a harmless flirtation in her recent state. But as she looked at the handsome visage before her, she allowed herself a selfish moment. After all, she was in a new city, in a new country. Why not try a new approach? She finally placed her hand in his and allowed him to pull her up and lead her out onto the dance floor.

Immediately, she was engulfed in his strong embrace. His arms encircled her waist and Martha easily did the same around his neck. They stood apart briefly before he drew Martha closer and allowed his hands to gently caress her curvaceous hips. For her part, Martha let him as she snuggled her head into his shoulder and allowed the music to overtake her. It felt good to be in someone's hold again, even if it was only for a dance. Again she recalled Tom and the way he would hold her with so much love and tenderness. What more she could have asked for, she didn't know. Then there was Mickey. Theirs was a relationship borne out of shared experiences but when he held her she knew he was passionate about more than just the work but her as well. His hold was fiery and intense but that kind of passion was fleeting at best.

Then there was the one man's hold that she melted into every single time. Like a glove, he encased her and nothing else on earth or any other planet felt so right to her. His embrace was the most painful of all, though, because she knew there was nothing more behind it. While in it, she felt sure warmth but once it ended it was as though nothing at all had happened. 'Damn' why did he keep slipping in her thoughts. She thought she was over this and then he showed up looking so concerned and now . . . before she realized it her eyes were closed and she was tightening her hold on a man whose name she hadn't even bothered to ask. He responded in kind and she was sure getting the wrong idea but she couldn't help it. She needed to feel again and right now this is what she had. Then as though sensing something or someone watching her, Martha's eyes popped open and fell upon a set of very familiar brown ones.

The instant her eyes met his, the Doctor was sure he would see indignation at his presence but instead all he got was surprise and confusion. It was almost as if she couldn't believe that he was there again. He knew she had asked him to leave but hadn't they spent enough time together for her to know he never gave up that easily? And then he saw something that stunned and moved him more than he would have expected, a glint . . . a tear escaping her eye. Was it a tear of joy or something else? He was hoping to remain unnoticed but would have dealt with her anger at his having disregarded her request but tears were something different. He wasn't prepared for that. Martha had always been so strong. He'd only seen her cry once and that was when her whole world was at stake but now . . . When she closed her eyes again, he stealthily escaped back into the crisp night, trying to regroup.

Martha was at a loss. What was he doing back here? She stayed lost in his steady gaze for as long as she dared before she felt the tears threaten. He still had some much power . . . power to hurt her and here he was again. Why was he never this concerned when she wanted him to be? Now when she was fighting to regain control of her life he kept popping up. Why? She wasn't quick enough to halt a single tear from escaping but hoping to staunch any more from falling and also to keep him from seeing in her eyes how much he still affected her, Martha tightly closed her eyes once more. After an instant to recollect herself, she opened them again only to find the Doctor had vanished. She quietly sighed and began to loosen her hold on her dance partner . . . like she said some things never change.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Chapter Six . . .**

Martha hung around the club a bit longer after the Doctor left. She didn't want him thinking she was following after him if he had only stepped outside and she also wasn't ready to be home alone with her thoughts. Instead she tried to let mindless conversation with her dance partner, Derrick, and the music drown out her racing mind. Ultimately, neither was helping, so Martha went about making her exit. After declining Derrick's offer of a 'night cap', she headed out into the brisk New York night. She momentarily thought of calling a cab. She's had a couple of drinks and it was a bit late but since it wasn't very far from her place she decided she could use the walk to clear her mind. She glanced around briefly at the still active streets and subconsciously looked out for the Doctor. She was still unsure of why he was back but she convinced herself it couldn't have been too important because he didn't even stick around. Why that bothered her more than his obvious disregard for her wishes, she refused to admit to herself at the moment. Wrapping herself more firmly in her knee length overcoat she began her short trek back to her new home.

Upon her near arrival, she became momentarily alarmed. As she turned down her street she noticed a shadowy figure standing at the entrance to her building. She immediately squeezed her keys tighter and began wondering if she should have taken that cab after all. The cabbie would have probably waited until she was safely inside if she had asked. However, as she continued to move closer and studied the form more intently, she noticed that infamous brown coat flapping in the crisp New York breeze and realized who it was. Despite his normal manic appearance, she knew she had nothing to fear, physically, from the Time Lord. She inhaled deeply and tried to steel herself. As she reached the front of the building, she gazed up at the unannounced visitor and him back at her. The Doctor, wild hair and all stood in full view now and in spite of herself she smiled. He returned the gesture but neither spoke for a long moment.

Both stood silently staring at each other, neither appearing to know where to begin. Martha finally decided to bite the bullet and break the stalemate, "This is starting to become a pattern . . . you popping up unexpectedly."

His smile brightened a bit, "Well, you know me . . ."

Martha only smirked this time, believing no one really knew the Doctor. Another lingering silence ensued until she pressed forward with a little more exasperation, "So are you going to tell me why you're back? And if it's to try and lay another guilt trip on me, I'm not interested."

He seemed to hesitate for a moment as if unsure how to proceed. It struck Martha as odd only because he rarely showed any hint of uncertainty. The Doctor appeared to finally gather himself and stoically began, "I think we need to talk."

"We? I'm all talked out," she flatly replied.

What the hell did he expect her to say? The Doctor only sighed at her cantankerous manner as he retorted with a bit of his own irritability, "Fine. I need to talk and I need you to listen."

Martha quieted at his first inkling of mild annoyance. She knew she was being overly confrontational but she didn't want to make things easy on him either. She spent so much time with him just allowing him to lead her around and here he was again making her feel like her whole world should stop because he had appeared. This time though she wanted to have some control over the situation and so she decided to use his desire to chat to win something for herself. So losing a little of her attitude she replied, "Only if you promise that afterwards you will go and not come back. I meant what I said about finding my own way."

He nodded, "I promise if after we talk, you still want me to leave I will."

She nodded, "Alright then . . ."

She stood waiting for him to begin but his gaze briefly turned towards her building and then back, "It's kind of a long story."

Martha tensed a bit though she was unsure why. It wasn't like he had never been to her flat back home but for some reason a part of her was resistant to acquiescing. She finally, though, gave in when he looked at her expectantly. "Fine," was all she managed before moving past him and opening the door.

She wordlessly let him into her apartment and proceeded to watch as he took in the cozy living space. The first thing the Doctor noticed was that this place felt a lot more lived in than her place back in the UK. There were newspapers and magazines strewn about the table, an open DVD case sat atop the TV and the throw pillows from the sofa were crinkled as if having been slept on. It appeared to him that Martha was definitely making herself at home in America but he was still unsure what that meant for her current situation. He slowly made his way further into her place and let his gaze finally fall on the open picture window with a breathtaking view of the city.

Her apartment sat just across the way from Central Park and had the advantage of being able to see the hustle and bustle of the city unimpeded. He briefly allowed himself to understand why it might be so tempting for her to want to stay. Martha could create a whole new persona here. The problem, the Time Lord contemplated, was that he could see nothing wrong with her current one. She was all the things any person should want to be . . . intelligent, compassionate, loyal not to mention attractive. Yet he could also sense that she had become dissatisfied with those labels. It seemed she thought she could shed them if she moved far enough away from everything she knew and started again. The Doctor, however, knew from personal experience that you couldn't run from yourself no matter how hard you tried. His train of thought was finally broken by Martha's voice.

"Hmmm . . . I'm sorry. I didn't hear you."

He turned to find her gazing curiously at him then softly she repeated herself, "I asked if you'd like some tea?"

He gave her a soft smile, "Sure. Thanks."

She nodded and stepped back into her attached kitchen and began making the drinks. He turned his attention briefly back to the city and thought, if only it was as simple as getting lost in the Big Apple, he might just join her.

He quickly shook off that notion and turned back to his reluctant hostess. He knew neither of them belonged here and hoped what he was about to share would help her begin to see that. Martha eventually rejoined him in the living area, carefully toting two mugs. She deftly stepped around the couch towards him before offering him one of the cups. As he took it, he finally took a moment to take in this complex woman before him. He smiled inwardly as he noticed that she was wearing the same dress she had worn the night of the Lazarus Lab fiasco. It still looked stunning on her petite frame and accentuated her allure all the more. His reflection shifted to a more solemn note when he recalled never mentioning to her that night how nice she looked in it. At that point he was still trying to shield himself from her considerable charms but even then he was very aware of how breathtaking she was. His regret deepened further as he presently was again holding back the compliment, partly out of habit and partly because he was afraid it might take away, somehow, from what he was about to say to her.

His gaze remained on her as she kicked off her shoes, the familiar purple ones, and slowly lowered herself to the couch. He soon followed, taking a seat next to her. The two sat in a tense silence, each taking a long sip of their beverages. Martha thought of saying something to break the obvious impasse but committed to staying quiet until he spoke, after all he was the one insisting that they needed to talk. She was, in fact, less curious about what he wanted to say than she might have ever believed. She was sure it would be some variation on their previous chat with him trying to convince her to be 'sensible'. Martha, though, already had a response if that was indeed where he was going. She was done being sensible Martha for now and maybe for good. Being that way had gotten her nothing but stepped on, used and forgotten but no more. She intended to use this time to spread her wings and see where it led her.

Her thoughts were eventually pushed aside when the Time Lord began to earnestly speak. "I wasn't completely honest with you, Martha, about why I first came to find you."

Martha paused mid-sip and steadied her gaze on him. Even though she suspected as much, his admitting it still wounded her. She knew it would never just be about checking on her. He did, though, now have her attention and she cautiously urged him on, "Go on."

He sat his cup on the nearby table and slowly continued, "Like your family, I was worried when you just disappeared. Not knowing where you were or if you were OK was tough but another reason I came was because of what it meant to me."

Martha furrowed her brow and was about to question him when he answered her thought.

"All I could think as I searched for you was not again. I couldn't lose you too."

Martha was now completely confused and said as much, "Doctor, I don't understand. What do you mean you couldn't lose me too?"

The Doctor exhaled deeply before softly continuing, "You mentioned Rose and Donna the last time we spoke."

"Yes . . . what's going on? Where are they? I couldn't imagine they would be thrilled with these continuous little pit stops of yours," she offered in as playful a tone as she could muster. However the look on the Time Lord's face told her the joke had fallen on deaf ears.

He sighed as he flatly stated, "They're gone . . . they're both gone." Martha was momentarily stunned into silence by this revelation.


	7. Chapter 6B

**Author Note: Well Guys, this is the rest of chapter six. I had to break it up because it was going so long. I hope you enjoy and feedback is always welcome.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**B . . .**

Martha knew she couldn't have heard right. Rose had travelled across universes to be with the Doctor and Donna was adamant that she was going to travel with him forever. It took a moment for her grasp the implications that came with the realization that neither of these women would have just voluntarily left the Doctor as she had. Her eyes immediately flashed with concern, "What do you mean gone? What happened?"

He noticed the alarm in her eyes and instantly answered it, "They're both fine . . . physically anyway but . . ." he trailed off with the pain of the memories still able to wound him.

Martha now sat studying him intently. It was clear whatever had happened it was still torturing him and left him struggling to tell her. In fact, she hadn't seen him seem this pained since that night in the alley in New New York when he had shared with her about is home planet, Gallifrey. That recollection along with his hesitancy to go forward unnerved her and forced her to press him, "Doctor? What happened to Donna and Rose?"

He looked into her anxious and compassionate gaze and saw a glimpse of the Martha he met in that hospital seemingly so long ago. Her heart was always so large, even when helping would be a detriment to her and right now he could see her gearing up to be supportive of his grief. He only hoped he could help her to see that it was because of this kind of reaction her relocation would never change the essence of who she was. He sighed quietly before reliving first the departure of Rose. He told of her staying in the parallel universe with the human Doctor to have the kind of life he could never give her. Then with husky overtones he shared about the metacrisis that occurred shortly thereafter that took Donna away as well. Martha was again stunned into silence as he discussed his decision to let Rose go and also about the painstaking choice he had to make to erase all memories of him and their time together from Donna's mind. By the time he finished, she could see unshed tears glistening in his old, tired eyes. Without thinking about it, she reached for one of his hands with both of hers and looked at him with so much compassion, he almost allowed every last tear to fall.

"Doctor . . . I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry," was her wistful reply. That was far from all she wanted to say. She was still trying to wrap her mind around all she had just been told. Rose stayed behind with the clone Doctor. She just couldn't imagine after all the longing from this Doctor and the legend that was Rose that she would have accepted a substitute for the real thing. Martha was very aware that had she been in her shoes it would have been very hard for her to make the same choice. Then there was Donna. The woman so full of life and bluster now relegated again to a mundane life as a temp. Though they were only in each other's lives for a short while, she had felt an instant camaraderie with the redhead and felt the pain of her loss almost as acutely as the Doctor did.

He finally gently covered her hands with his other one before softly replying, "Thank you. I just now hope you can understand better why I had to find you. I had to know that there was still one constant left in my life. The thought that you had also been lost to me would have just been too much."

Martha inhaled sharply. As she listened to his words she tried to find comfort and a bit of joy in the fact that he thought of her as a constant in his world but something niggling in the back of her mind wouldn't let the words be something positive. Instead, it was twisted into something else entirely. As she looked from his hands on hers into his eyes, a voice in the back of head began in '_You know he means reliable, right? He means someone who will always be there to fill in until something better comes along.'_ She tried to shake it off but the voice became louder, '_Second best . . . stop gap . . . place holder. . . that's all you'll ever be to him.' _

Martha closed her eyes tightly trying to fight back, to contradict the incessant chirping but she couldn't. Her whole life had been about her being the in-between for others. In her own family she was the one always expected to be the mediator, even if she had no desire to do so and then she met the Doctor and old patterns were repeated. Instead of being accepted on her own merits she was thrust again into the position of being someone else's stand in. Their whole 'relationship' was based on who she wasn't, not who she was.

"Martha," came a concerned voice breaking through her fog. Her eyes flashed open and were staring right into the eyes that said more than his words ever did. Abruptly, she pulled her hands from his and rose. The Doctor's look went from concerned to downright confused as he stood to join her.

She was now facing away from him, trying to regain herself. She'd almost slipped back into it. Being so concerned about everyone else being OK that she'd sacrifice her own well being. She shook her head and admonished, _No more_. When she turned back to face him, the sympathy that had been so vividly captured on her face not moments before was replaced by the cold stare that had greeted him the first night he found her in the city. She looked as though something important just dawned on her and before he could question her about what it was, she answered, "I can't do this with you anymore."

He furrowed his brow, "Do what?" "Be your stand-in. I had enough of that when we traveled together. I'm really sorry for your losses but I can't be good old dependable Martha anymore," she matter of factly retorted.

He looked at her as though she had sprouted another head, "What are you talking about, Martha? That's not what this is."

She sighed heavily, "Isn't it? From the first day we met, you made it perfectly clear that I was never going to be more to you than a substitute for the one you really wanted with you. I was there with you not because of what I could bring but because you were lonely just like right now. If either of them were still there what I was doing would not be this 'important' to you. So let's be for real here, Doctor. I have no more energy or sympathy to give, so if that's why you're here you wasted a trip."

The Doctor look genuinely hurt by her words but she didn't care. How many times had she felt the way he was looking while they were together? He stomped over her feelings without a second thought and expected her to take it and come back for more. Even back then, she knew she deserved better than to be treated like runner up to someone she'd never even met.

He took a step closer to her and softly tried to soothe, "Martha . . . I came to help you not for symphathy. Even if I had a TARDIS full of companions, I would have come. I know things haven't been easy for you lately and I was hoping you'd let me help you with that. I want you to see that no matter how much you might want to hide from everything you can't hide from yourself . . . your true self."

Martha furrowed her brow, "And just what is my "true self", Doctor?"

"That vibrant, compassionate young woman that I met on the moon. A woman who kept her head about her in an extraordinary situation and who even took the time to close an already dead man's eyes out of respect. A woman who gave her last breath to an almost complete stranger and saved his ass more than a few times after that. These are not things you should be running from but embracing because they are things surely lacking in this world," he passionately returned.

Martha appeared to be considering what he had said and briefly looked surprised at his vehemence but his hopes were again dashed with her next words. "You're right. I was all those things once but she's gone now. I learned that being that person only led to hurt and heartache. Letting everyone depend on you to fill their needs and never having you own met, it's exhausting. I don't want to do it anymore and I'm sick of people telling me who I should be or how I should live my life. These are my choices. End of discussion."

The Doctor was dumbfounded. He had no idea she had become so weary. He knew that he played a role in that with his constant façade of disinterest. It had help to wear her down. He knew he couldn't allow this to stand. He needed to make her see everything she had done and been hadn't been for nothing.

For her part, Martha was just ready for him to go. Once again she had allowed him too much power. He made her say more than she had intended and she was mad at herself. She was tired of him making her feel like some wayward child that needed his guidance to return to the right path. All this, her desire for his attention and approval, was supposed to be behind her now but here he was dredging it back up all over again.

"Martha, please . . ." but she cut him off with a raised hand.

"No. I mean it. I'm done with all of it. I listened to what you had to say and now I think it's time for you to go." His eyes remained planted on her and he made no move to do as she asked so Martha turned and went to her door, opening it before turning back to him and emphasizing her position. He continued to stare at her without moving which caused her to become terser. "Leave. Now."

The Doctor finally appeared to be taking her seriously and slowly began to head towards the door. Once at her side, he gave her another lingering gaze before reaching out and placing his hand on hers as it rested on the doorknob and then much to her surprise, he closed the door back and firmly responded, "No."

She quickly shook off her shock at his actions and narrowed her eyes at him, "What do you mean no?"

So softly she thought she might have to strain to hear him even though her was right in front of her, he said, "I mean I'm not leaving you here like this. I'm not." His tone and demeanor sent a shiver through her that she tried to ignore. She quietly studied him for a long moment, trying to figure out what his true motivation was before disregarding that line of thought all together. This was her house and he would not take that away too.

So just as unexpected as his refusal to leave was, she suddenly began shoving him in his chest and proceeding to berate him, "Who the hell do you think you are? You can't come into my home and dictate things to me. I want you gone, do you understand? Out of my place and out of my life, got it?"

If he was startled by her flash of anger the Time Lord didn't show it. He just stood there, taking both her physical and verbal jabs so she continued. She was now poking and pushing him with every heated sentence.

"I'm not that naive girl you met back at Royal Hope. I'm a grown woman with my own issues. I'm not interested in yours. So why don't you just go. Run! It's what you're good at."

The Doctor, though, didn't so much as budge. It wasn't until she began to speak about the role she was cast in and how exhausting it was that it dawned on him what she needed . . . how he could help her. She didn't need to be reminded of who she was but needed the chance to release some long built up frustration. She had been holding in so much because it was what everyone else needed from her, including him, but she was now able to release some of it and after all she had done for him, he knew she deserved to have that opportunity. As she continued her mini tirade, he could begin to hear her voice crack with anger, frustration, and exhaustion and he wanted nothing more in that moment but to take all of it on himself. He wanted to give her back that carefree nature that had attracted him to her in the first place. It was after a few minutes more of her rant that he did the only thing he felt he could, he engulfed her in his embrace. Martha, of course, wasn't expecting that response and immediately began to fight in the hold. The Doctor refused to relinquish her, however, and so eventually her struggle began to lessen until she was both quiet and still in his hold. The pair stood this way for a long while before Martha finally broke the silence with a quiet, almost childlike inquiry, "Why do you care now? You never did before."

She heard the soothing rhythm of his two beating hearts interrupted by a deep inhaling of air before his eventual reply, "That's not true, Martha . . . I always cared. I just . . ."

She slowly pulled back some from his hold and looked up at him, "You just what?"

He stared just over her head for a moment before looking back into her sadden, searching brown eyes. He still wasn't prepared to tell her all the things he had come to realize over his time alone. Things that involved her. Now wasn't the time. He was here, first, to make sure she was on sure footing again. He held her still questioning gaze but remained silent. He instead did something else that caught Martha completely off guard. He first placed a sweet kiss on her forehead, like a father soothing an upset child, and then another on the bridge of her nose. She closed her eyes at the unexpected gestures and tried to take them for a comforting move. However when she opened her eyes again, expecting to see that familiar smile placing everything into perspective, she was instead greeted with a dusky gaze that confused and startled her. Then without warning he lowered his lips to meet hers. At first she was so surprised that she could not even respond. The last time this happened he had prefaced it but as his lips tenderly caress hers, there was no precondition offered. He was simply a man kissing a woman and Martha found herself giving in to the moment and sharing in the kiss. As his hands moved from her waist to her face, she allowed herself to briefly savor what was happening.

Sure that it was probably just a calculated move on his part to placate her, she placed every bit of frustration she had about this strange, invigorating alien into the exchange. She wanted him to feel her exasperation as well as the longing. In her head she knew it wouldn't change anything but for the moment it changed everything. The Doctor recognized that she was now actively participating in the embrace and he too allowed it to be a way to send a message. He wanted her to know she had never been invisible. That he saw every beautiful, brilliant piece of her and that she was more than desirable. Yet he also knew her and knew that this action had to be backed up with words . . . words he wasn't ready to share. So slowly, achingly he pulled back from her. Her eyes immediately opened and caught his now hesitant gaze. She could already see his retreat beginning and so she rested her hands upon his wrists and lightly began to pull his hands away from her face and move back from his grasp in a single move. The duo stood staring again, both breathless and neither with words for what had just happened.

She had to admit that the exchange felt different but the look in his eyes afterward told her more. She couldn't let him play with her emotions this way again. It was too hard to moving on the last time. So with memories of past experiences still vividly in her mind, Martha did the only thing she could think to do. She reached for the door again and opened it. "Please go."

He could read her like a book and attempted to clarify, "Martha . . ." But she just shook her head while looking away. He stood a bit longer studying her before replying, "Call me when you are ready to talk, please."

She returned her gaze to his briefly and could have sworn she saw a flash of uncertainty there but shook it off. On auto pilot after everything, she simple offered a nod at his request. The Time Lord appeared less than convinced but finally did as she asked, walking out of the opened door. Once he was gone, she exhaled and slid down the door to the floor, also not convinced she would ever make that phone call.


	8. Chapter 7

**Note: I want to thank everyone who has checked out my story and commented and thanks for your patience as well. Writers block not to mention family drama can wreak havoc on flow. Anyhow, because of the delay I have two pretty long ones ready. I'm still unsure of how these turned out so any comments would be appreciated. Enjoy!**

**Chapter Seven . . .**

Both Martha and the Doctor spent the next few days mulling over their last encounter. Not just how it ended but the conversation leading up to its conclusion as well. Surprisingly, Martha found herself more focused on her own actions and reactions than those of the Doctor. It would have been so easy, she knew, to blame all her frustrations and fears on him after all they had been through together but deep inside she was aware she was at fault for most of it. She had allowed this man . . . this Time Lord the kind of power she's never given anyone in her life. She let herself be twisted and turned inside out for someone who refused to offer the same in return. She'd seen her sister Tish do this more than once in a relationship, giving and giving, believing if she gave just a bit more she would hit the jackpot like one of those slot machines in Las Vegas. Martha had sworn to herself it would never be her and then the Doctor entered her life and all her resolve and sense seemed to leave her.

She allowed every word or action he threw her way to mold and wound her and for this she had no one to blame but herself. By giving him that power, she helped fashion their relationship into something that was dysfunctional from the beginning and stayed that way until she gained enough of herself again to walk away from it. Now he was back, for what she was unsure of. After their conversation and that kiss she was beyond confused about his intentions. Was he just lonely after losing both Rose and Donna or was he reaching out to her as he never had before because he missed her? She knew she could never be completely sure but even being remotely sure would be better than what she had now.

Sighing, she momentarily let her mind float back to their first meeting at Royal Hope. She had gone from thinking him fascinating and a bit mad to captivating and very engaging. She recalled following after him without much reservation at all. It was like he gave her that charming smile and a wink and she was bewitched. The fact that the entire hospital was on the moon with space police that looked like rhinos chasing a nonhuman that was not the nonhuman she was running about with and them slowly running out of air had barely registered as she gallivanted through the halls with the Time Lord.

No, she was so fixated on keeping up with him that when he began to babble at her about how this meant nothing, she didn't even recognize until his lips found hers what he was talking about. Despite his speech to the contrary, Martha knew that this was far more than nothing. The genetic transfer, as he called it, had been brief but way more intimate than a mere kiss. As he held her face and pressed his lips to hers, she felt his fingers ever so slightly caress her cheek causing her to slightly shiver. Then just as abruptly as it had begun he broke the spell, leaving her breathless and reeling. She'd been kissed before but something about this exchange shook her like never before. Unfortunately, what happened afterwards, culminating in her giving her last breath to a man she'd know less than few hours, would begin a pattern where she was willing to sacrifice almost everything for him without the promise of the same in return.

She'd jump started his heart on their second trip out, fought off pig slaves to buy him time, served as bait for a mutated beast, battled a living sun that had possessed him, protected him when he was someone else completely, worked to support both of them when they were stranded and walked the earth all for a man . . . a Time Lord that barely acknowledged her existence most of the time. Martha knew she had allowed this relationship because she had first been unwilling to ask, or demand, more in return. Now she was faced with an even more complex situation because now it appeared that he might be reaching out to her like she had always wanted back then. Yet looking at things as they were presently, she couldn't help but wonder if that was what was best now. Did she really want to allow him to become a significant part of her life again? Would things really be any different than last time or was this only the lure to pull her back in because he was lonely?

Martha understood that without knowing his true motivations for all of this she could not make the best decision for herself. However, getting that from the enigmatic Doctor might prove easier said than done. For someone who talked as much as he was prone to, he surprisingly said very little. This time, though, she realized she couldn't and wouldn't accept anything but everything she needed to know. If he hedged or refused then she would still have her answers.

Back on the TARDIS, the Doctor was also reflecting on his time traveling with Martha and reliving again his actions towards her and reactions to her. How many times had his careless words and actions hurt her? Was it any wonder now why she was reluctant to believe she was his primary concern? He had done very little over their time together to warrant the stark loyalty she had shown him. While she fought right alongside him, trying to protect Earth and all those who could not help themselves, standing toe to toe with some of his greatest foes and never backing down, he was constantly comparing her to a lost memory. Yes, Rose had been everything to him for a long time but once she was gone, he's placed her on an even higher pedestal than she had been when they were together and used every opportunity he could to remind his then current companion she could never be what Rose was. Yet Martha stayed.

She held back her emotions and covered her pain as best she could because she was that kind of person. If she saw someone in pain, she wanted to make it better and at that point in time he was definitely in pain but he was also angry at himself because, as much as he missed Rose, he was almost instantly attracted to Martha. It was not just a physical attraction. Her mind, her exuberance, her willingness to trust in him and not recoil at something different from her was refreshing and magnetizing. Yet he wasn't ready then to admit it to himself and so he consciously and unconsciously tried to discourage any ideas she might have about them being something more. He knew then and acknowledged now that there was no excuse for his behavior and that he would have to make up for that as well as so much more.

But how to make her see and believe that he was sincere in his desire not just to help her but also to change the relationship they'd always had? Martha had become even shrewder in her time with and away from him. The Doctor knew that nothing less than everything out in the open would suffice for her. He sighed while aimlessly moving around the console and recognized that he was going to have to hurt her again in order to make her realize his sincerity. Where would he begin? Just as he was about to figure out how to explain himself a familiar ring caught his attention. He patted his left chest area and quickly snatched the mobile from his inner pocket and flipped it open, "Martha?"

"Yes, Doctor, it's me and I'm ready," she quietly replied.

He exhaled lightly as he responded, "When and where?"

When she gave him the information, he could not hold back a small smile, "I'll be there." Long after she hung up, he stood staring at the phone trying to read into her tone and the destination she had chosen before shaking it off and promptly setting the coordinates to meet with her on somewhat familiar ground.


	9. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Eight . . .**

The Doctor arrived at the base of the Shakespeare Gardens in Central Park and began to carefully scan the beautiful, majestic area for the woman who had summoned him there. Very few people were about as it was late morning but when his eyes began to trail higher, they eventually came to rest on a solitary figure standing near the top of the stone pathway that led upward. He smiled once more at her mere presence and also at her choice in location. It was not only named for the bard they had visited on their first trip together but was also breathtakingly picturesque and quite secluded. He intently began to make his way up to join her as she watched on. She appeared to be in a thoughtful demeanor but when he had nearly made it to her side she began to move higher, briefly causing him alarm. He thought she might be having second thoughts until he noticed her find a vacant log bench which she soon made use of. He quickly joined her there and both sat staring down at the majesty of the blooms as well as the serenity it afforded.

The Doctor finally broke the silent reverie with his typical impish disposition, "So . . . Shakespeare Gardens then?"

Martha gave him a half smile, while still gazing out on the scene, "Yeah, I thought you'd appreciate that."

"Indeed," he said with a bit more subtly as a brief memory of their time back in 1599 passed between them.

Then there was another long silence before Martha began, "Look, I know we have a lot we need to discuss but before we do can I ask something of you?"

Without hesitation, the Time Lord replied, "Anything."

"I need you to promise to be honest with me . . . no matter what. Can you do that?" she asked.

The Doctor paused briefly and studied her expectant expression. He had been trying to figure out how to explain his actions without causing her anymore undue pain but as he looked into her sincere eyes, he knew he could do nothing but honor her request and so softly he replied, "Yes I can."

She sighed and turned her view back to the quiet gardens while she carefully measured her next words. Then with little warning she began, "Tell me everything about Rose." She paused and caught, what she knew would be, his stunned gaze before she continued, "I want to know all of it. How you two met, the adventures you had, how she ended up in that parallel universe . . . " she hesitated again, nervous about pressing further but remembering her vow to demand more from him this time as she concluded, "And why she was so special to you."

The Doctor looked at his former companion in surprise and awe. He knew that they were going to have to discuss these things but to have her blatantly ask about it first thing put him off balance a bit. When they had traveled together he was always so good at shutting down whenever she tried to get to personal but he recognized that would no longer fly. Martha deserved to know about everything she was asking and he would have to suck it up and share it or risk her walking away from him again.

So with her eyes still intensely on him, he sighed deeply and quietly returned, "Alright. If that's what you want."

She only nodded this time giving him the floor and he promptly began his tale of a cherished companion and friend. He shared about how his previous incarnation had rescued Rose from an alien attack in the shop where she worked, how after they had dispatched with the threat that he had asked her to join him in the TARDIS. From there they shared numerous adventures that proved to bring them closer and closer and culminated in her taking the time vortex into herself to save him and, he, in turn taking it into himself to save her. He told of his eventual regeneration into the current Doctor because of that and the deepening of his bond with Rose after that.

He shared some of the adventures they had including their trip to New New York and their bout with homicidal Santa's as well as them facing down the Daleks and Cybermen in what would turn out to be their last adventure together. He then solemnly recounted how after everything that happened on Canary Wharf that he and Rose had thought they would have the chance to continue their journey only to have her cruelly ripped from him as they attempted to dispose of the Daleks using the pull of the Void. Unfortunately, Rose, while trying to help, lost her grip and was sucked through as well, only being saved from floating in oblivion by her dad from the alternate reality. He recalled with emotionally thick monotones, resting his head against the wall that had moments before been a swirling vortex, hoping that somehow he could wake up from that nightmare.

He finally paused to see how Martha was reacting to all of this and noticed that she remained focused on him but with little emotion etched on her face. He thought about letting that be the ending but when he paused too long Martha narrowed her eyes as if to say go on and so he did. Closing his eyes both to focus and also to cover any residual emotion that might come he described to her the scene on the beach where he and Rose said an emotional goodbye. How he never got the chance to tell her how he felt before the Void closed, what he thought at the time, was for good. When he was done, he again found Martha's gaze but this time it was clear she was affected.

"Martha . . . Rose was the first real contact I had after the Time War . . . she pulled me out of the darkest moment of my life. Losing her, the way I did, so soon after that I was so broken . . . I didn't think I would ever fully recover," he softly recounted.

Martha slowly rose and moved to a railing that overlooked the garden without a word. He remained seated a moment longer before finally joining her. He could see that he'd done the thing he wanted to avoid but she had asked for his honesty.

"Martha, I . . ."

She, though, cut him off, "I get it, Doctor. I do." She paused and glanced over at him as she continued, "What I don't get is why you never told me this. Did you think I wouldn't understand or did you just enjoy watching me making a fool out of myself?"

The Doctor gritted his teeth, pushing down his reflex to become defensive. He knew from Martha's perspective that was probably how it felt. So quietly, remembering his desire to help her heal, he tried to soothe, "That was never my intent."

Martha eyed him for a bit, as if assessing his sincerity before sighing and returning her gaze to the garden, "I know . . . I know you didn't intend to be cruel. I just . . . I just wish you could have been upfront with me, ya know? We could have saved each other a lot of grief and tension. If I had known . . ."

She paused for a long moment as if unsure how to complete that sentence. Would she have really given up on him had she known? Probably not, but she definitely would have handled things differently. Their gazes eventually drifted back to each other as she finally found the words to finish her thought, "If I had known the whole story maybe I wouldn't have spent most of my time with you thinking I could never measure up. My confidences in my abilities and myself as a person were shaken, especially when you invoked Rose's memory. I never considered myself a genius but I was always one of the smarter people in the room and by no means was I a supermodel but I never had trouble attracting the attention of the opposite sex but with you all that changed. Suddenly, I felt like nothing I was or did was up to par."

She paused again and looked at him intently as she continued, "I hated that feeling and it took me a while after I left you to get over it . . . I won't go back there, Doctor. I won't."

"Nor would I expect you to," he quietly returned. He then turned and gave her a small smile, "You're brilliant, Martha Jones. You always have been and I always knew it but I was just so caught up in my own stuff that I rarely took the time to acknowledge it." He hesitated a moment before becoming a bit more solemn. "I thought about you and our time together a lot since you walked away. I wish I could say that I was just too thick to see how it was affecting you but that wouldn't be the truth and you did ask for my honesty." Martha only nodded in response so he continued, "I enjoyed the attention. The flirting and banter between us kept me from having to deal with everything that had happened. I knew it wasn't fair to use you in that way but, initially, I figured we'd take a trip and that would be it but once you came aboard with your wonder and energy, I knew it wouldn't just be one trip. Unfortunately, I also knew the flirting and tension would remain as well and because I was still refusing to face everything that came before we met, I continued to use you."

He glanced away not ready to see her react to his words. Martha, for her part, was using everything in her not to show how much his revelation hurt. It wasn't that it was a complete shock but still . . . This, though, is what she asked for, complete honesty, so she had no choice but to grin and bear it. When it became clear she was not going to respond, the Doctor looked back to her and could see he'd wounded her again. She was fidgeting and glancing everywhere but at him. He briefly thought to reach out to her and take one of her restless hands but resisted knowing there was more to tell.

So with a deep sigh, he went on, "But the more time we spent together I began to concede that it wasn't just about attention but about you. You, Martha Jones, made me want to live again. Your exuberance and thirst for knowledge awakened the same in me again. Martha . . . my brilliant Dr. Jones, you are everything you ever thought you were and so much more and it never should have taken me so long to say so. Alas, I knew then that if I did there would be expectations of things I just couldn't give, just like with Rose."

Martha again resisted the urge to react. Instead she remained focused on the point at hand. "What things? What is it you think I wanted from you besides your respect and acknowledgement?"

"Come on, you know what I mean. Marriage, kids, a house in the city . . . what all human women want," he smartly returned.

This time Martha did react. With an eye roll and a bit more volume, she retorted, "Blimey! You sound just like my mother."

The Doctor looked genuinely hurt by her statement but Martha didn't care. This right here was why she and her mother were barely speaking now and why she had left London. She was sick of the expectations.

"You think you know so much but for being the cleverest person in the universe, you can sure be clueless. Not every human female is running towards an alter or motherhood or any of the other things sprinting through your mind at the moment. Some of us are content to have a career we care about, good friends and possibly someone to spend time with. I'm tired of everyone painting me into a corner and telling me what I should want. You know the thing I wanted from you the most? It was just for you to see me . . . not as a replacement but as someone worthy to be your companion and friend. I don't think that was too much to ask, do you?"

"Of course it isn't but can you honestly tell me you never thought of those other things with me while we were together?" he softly replied.

Martha paused a beat before answering, "Maybe, a passing thought but I knew who you were. I knew you were different from any man I'd ever met and that who you are is tied to traveling through space and time. I would never expect you to give that up for me. What I did expect and deserve was to feel like what I do and who I am is appreciated and I honestly hardly ever felt that way when we were together." She then sighed and turned to return to the bench they had shared earlier.

The Doctor turned and studied her for a long moment. Again, he knew she was right. He had been so tightfisted with his praise and awe for her that it was little wonder she'd finally had enough and walked away. He eventually rejoined her and stealthily took one of her hands into his. She looked down at their joined hands and then back into his earnest face as he sincerely said, "I'm sorry. For never saying it enough, for never showing you just how much you mattered to me. You sacrificed so much for me and if you thought for one instant that I didn't appreciate it, all of it, I want you to know I always did."

Martha held his gaze, as if searching for anything but the genuineness she felt emanating from him. When she didn't, she gave him a soft smile of her own and quietly replied, "Thanks for that."

Then just like old times, the two former companions gravitated into a warm hug. Both melted into the hold and seemed content to linger there for a while. Martha absorbed the feeling of his arms around her again while the Doctor immersed himself in the scents and warmth he had missed so much. It wasn't until they were startled from their embrace by a barking dog coming towards them leading its owner that both loosened their hold.

Martha pulled back first and stared at him before asking, "So what happens now?"

His usual easygoing smile returned as he held her gaze and said, "Well, I was hoping that maybe you might consider rejoining me on the TARDIS."

Martha's wide eyed stare betrayed her shock instantly. "You want us to travel together again?"

"Why are you acting so surprised? I know we had our issues but we also had some great adventures and I would love to show you more of this universe."

Martha was still in mild shock at the turn in conversation. One moment they were working on putting their issues to rest and the next he was asking her back. She felt like she was caught in a whirlwind.

"Doctor, I don't know what to say."

"Say yes and I promise you won't regret it," he returned with light squeeze of the hand he was still holding. Her first instinct was to do just that. To once again traverse the universe seemed like a distant fantasy come true but she quickly caught herself. She had meant what she said to him about not being the same person that followed him blindly the last time. With the Doctor, Martha had learned, one must often look before they leapt or be blindsided by something later. So gently she removed her hand from his and slowly rose once more.

Then looking down at him with deep emotion, she said, "I need time to think about this."

The Doctor stood as well and with a smile that refused to waver, he retorted, "Then it's lucky for you I'm a Time Lord."

Martha couldn't help but join him in that grin as she shook her head at his levity. Then with a bit more seriousness, he continued, "No pressure but while you thinking things over how about having a mini adventure right here on Earth."

She narrowed her eyes suspiciously, "Go on."

"I was thinking of a few things that are distinctively New York that I think you might enjoy," he retorted.

"Such as?"

He tapped her on the nose, "I guess you'll just have to agree to join me to find out."

Her own smile returned and with a playful retort of her own she replied, "Why, Doctor, are you asking me out?" She almost cringed the moment after the words left her mouth. Her mind immediately flashed back to the first and last time she made such a suggestion and wished she could take it back.

Much to her surprise, however, unlike last time, the Doctor didn't deny or contradict her claim but instead retorted, "If I were would you accept?"

Martha's smile fell slightly with surprise. Damn, she wasn't expecting that. Again she was left perplexed by her encounter with the Time Lord. Neither said anything for a long minute before the Doctor decided to break the stalemate by lowering the stakes for them both.

"How about we just call it two good friends getting reacquainted while taking in the city?"

Martha hesitated just a second more before finally conceding, "Alright, let's do it."

His buoyant smile returned, "Smith and Jones ride again."

*****I know I haven't covered the kiss properly yet but I promise I will return to it soon.*****


	10. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Thanks again for the continued interest and reviews everyone. Here is the beginning of their New York Adventure/ "date" . . .**

**Chapter Nine . . .**

Martha stood before a full length mirror propped against one of the screens she had separating her bedroom area from the rest of her apartment. As she gazed at herself once more, she smiled lightly at her appearance. It was simple and casual just as the Doctor had requested when he called to finalize their plans. He still wouldn't tell her exactly what they were doing but he did say she should dress for an evening of casual yet elegant fun. She felt the peach and black Kimono dress Tish had convinced her to buy a couple of months ago fit the bill. It was a gorgeous little floral print dress with a v-neckline and a- line shape that stopped just above her knees. The floating sleeves added to the fun of it and the bow that tied in the back finished it perfectly. A pair of strappy silver heels and her hair pinned up with chop sticks completed her ensemble.

She nearly laughed at herself as she finally stepped away from her reflection. She wasn't sure why she was making such a fuss after all they had both agreed this was just two friends hanging out. Yet a part of her wanted to look the best that she could . . . wanted to make sure he was now really seeing her. Martha knew that despite the closure they might have gained the day before with their past there was still the matter of the present which included that kiss and the future which might include her rejoining him on TARDIS. She was still unsure about both and hoped that by night's end she might be clearer. Her thoughts were finally interrupted by a buzz at her intercom. She smiled again and promptly made her way to the small box by the door.

Depressing the button, she lightheartedly asked, "Yes. Who's there?"

The Doctor replied, "Martha Jones, your carriage a waits."

Her smiled brightened as she told him she'd be right down and then proceeded to grab her black clutch before exiting and locking her door. When she stepped out into the temperate New York evening, the Doctor was facing the street so she quietly cleared her throat bringing his full attention to her. The expression she saw on his face as he appraised her appearance told her, her efforts had not been in vain. His mouth stood slightly ajar and his eyes canvassed her entire frame before he finally found himself and gave her that familiar, dashing grin, "Well, Dr. Jones, don't you just look . . ."

He paused as if trying to find the right adjective which afforded Martha the chance to playfully finish for him, "Don't I just?"

His smile brightened, "Oh, yes."

"You're looking quite dapper yourself," she offered as she glanced over his standard apparel of a pinstriped suit, blue this time, white dress shirt and red trainers along with his freshly coifed, yet no less unruly, mane.

He smartly returned, "Well I do try." She just shook her head as his gaze continued to assess her.

The Doctor finally broke the spell by pulling something from his inside pocket. Martha was quite surprised to see a single white flower suspended before her. She looked at it and then back to him. His smile never wavered as he answered her unasked question, "Oriental lily."

Her brow immediately rose in amazement, "But how did you know?"

She gestured to her outfit. The Doctor quickly replied, "I didn't. I just saw this flower on my way here and it made me think of you."

Martha couldn't help but blush a bit at his words, "Uncanny then."

He only nodded this time as he handed the pure white lily to her. Martha sniffed the bloom while watching him watching her. She still was having a hard time wrapping her mind around him being here with her like this. There was always a tension between them when they traveled together. An elephant in the room but now that it had dissipated, it felt like the possibilities were wide open. Yet there was still a significant part of her that was too afraid to hope that he was here because of her and not just because he was longing for something familiar. Martha was just not sure she was willing to risk her sanity or self- esteem again for this Time Lord. So with a more reserved smile, Martha finally decided to break his inspection with the obvious question, "So are you ready to tell me what we're up to tonight?"

His trance momentarily broken, he smiled again, "Like I said your carriage a waits."

He then nodded just down the way to the park where a line of horse and carriages were parked. Martha now stood wide eyed looking at the scene. She had watched a few of these carriage rides from her apartment, seen the happy couples snuggling in together while taking in the sights but never thought she'd be in one herself let alone with the Doctor at her side. She looked back over at him and caught his gaze, "You've got to be kidding me."

He gave her that trademark, manic grin as he innocuously replied, "What?"

Martha shook her head, "I can honestly say this is the last thing I expected."

"Why? It is a well- known fact that a carriage ride is the best way to see Central Park," he retorted with a slight frown in his brow. He had expected surprise at his choice of activity but not at the gesture, especially after their talk the day before. The Doctor felt sure that she had let her guard down after he had finally come clean about Rose. He thought it had been cathartic for both of them but it appeared Martha still wasn't completely convinced that he was sincere about wanting to change their previous relationship. Well, he thought, he'd just have to work on that.

Martha, for her part, only nodded at his response. She could sense he was less than pleased with her reaction but he'd been giving her mixed signals since the day they met. There was no way she was about to allow herself to get carried away again. A carriage ride can be just a carriage ride. She decided not to allow ambiguity to rule them once again and pressed the issue, "It will be a bit intimate."

He gave her a searching glance before pointedly firing back, "Which is exactly the point . . ." He paused at her arched eyebrow and softened his features before continuing, "As the evening is about us getting reacquainted properly while seeing one of the most famous cities in the world."

Martha sighed inwardly. Leave it to the Doctor to remain elusively vague. As he appeared to study her again, she decided to just leave it for now. It made no sense to ruin the evening before it even began.

"In that case, what are we waiting for?" she offered with a bit more enthusiasm than she actually felt at the moment.

The Doctor's face, however, brightened at her attempt and he held out his arm to her, "Not a thing, Dr. Jones."

She easily slid her arm through his and allowed him to guide her the short distance to the loading area.


	11. Chapter 9B

**Alright, I had to break this up into three parts because it was running long. The first two follow and the third will be coming after an edit. Anyhow, here it is, Martha and the Doctor in NYC. Enjoy!**

**And as always, I own nothing.**

**B . . . **

"After you," the Doctor gestured sweetly as he helped Martha up into the carriage. Their transport was a 1900's throwback carriage with two pristine white steeds to pull it along. Martha lightly smiled to herself. Sitting in a horse drawn carriage in the middle of New York City was the last thing she thought she'd be doing when she arrived. This had been intended as a trip to relax and heal. She'd come there with the goal to let go of her past, reinvent herself and maybe rediscover her place in this world. But as usual, her plans never seemed to pan out the way she hoped. Her past had tracked her down like a blood hound and now sat next to her trying to convince her that what had happened then was no reflection on the now. As much as she would love to believe that notion and embrace it, she had seen too much to not remain somewhat guarded. Yet being there now, with the Doctor, was causing her consternation to fade, if only slightly. He was being so sweet and charming causing her to let her guard down more and more. Her smile shifted to him as he finally attempted to get himself situated in what, turned out to be as cozy a seating area as Martha had imagined. It took him a moment to arrange his gangly frame next to her with his arm finally resting on the seat behind her. Once he was situated, she caught his eye and more sincerely whispered, "Thank you."

He returned her glow and gave a wink as he replied, "Oh, Martha Jones, you haven't seen anything yet."

The carriage soon bucked forward and the pair was off on their New York adventure. Martha began to look about with a keen interest as the carriage began its voyage into the park. The Doctor, however, had his eyes planted firmly on her. He could honestly admit that he missed this feeling. Observing the quiet awe and inward reflection of Martha as she took in new experiences had always impressed him. He enjoyed his time with Donna without question but whereas Donna was always so boisterous and blunt, Martha was more thoughtful, taking everything in before she asked strong questions and made quick observations. Her inquisitiveness and willingness to take new experiences in stride set her apart in his mind. It was her thirst for knowledge and her readiness to tackle new challenges that first made him take notice of her. The fact that she didn't bust him that day she examined him in the hospital or when she kept her head while everyone around her was falling apart on the moon just proved to him how special she truly was. Fast forward to the present and now he had the chance to show her that he had always known just that.

Martha caught him gazing at her with a small smile on his face and nudged him lightly, "What's that smile about?"

He met her gaze and softly replied, "I was just thinking how glad I am to be here with you."

Martha smiled but did not respond. It was still all too peculiar to her at the moment. The Doctor being so open was what she had longed for when they had traveled together but now that it seemed to be happening, she was just unsure if she could trust it.

As their carriage leisurely made its way through the sizeable park, Martha took in the sights in quiet reverence while the Doctor, as usual, added information about each sight they passed. Their journey took them around an ice skating rink, a secluded pond, offered them a glimpse of the Central Park zoo and a turn of the century carousel before the ride entered the heart of the park. The sun was preparing to set as their carriage began to make a loop around the lake and the Bethesda Fountain. She stared, enthralled by the sight of the angel that topped the famed fountain as the Doctor prattled on about how it was designed to celebrate the then new water duct that feed both the fountain and the city fresh water. In the midst of his discourse, Martha caught a chill and shivered slightly next to him. The Doctor noticed almost immediately and instantly reached for a blanket sitting across from them in the carriage. He easily pulled it over both their lap and then proceeded to move his hand down from the seat to her shoulder and began to gently rub it.

It was a small gesture that surprised her initially but when he warmly smiled at her and inquired, "Better?"

She only nodded and replied, "Much."

From that moment on she decided to relax and let the evening play out. With the steady clip clop of the horse's hooves as the only sound between them now, the Doctor and Martha's carriage now made its way past a pathway of cherry blossoms that perfumed the air delicately. The Doctor maintained his hold on her long after the chill had passed and she noticed that it was now only his thumb gently rubbing her shoulder.

The intimate motion caused her to wonder if he realized he was doing it. And so she decided to test the waters by resting her head lightly upon his shoulder. As she leaned further into his embrace, she could only smile as she heard him sigh with what sounded like contentment at her action. Neither offered words or looks but instead continued to take in the remainder of their ride quietly. When they finally made it to the unloading area, both the Martha and the Doctor had relaxed even more and as they moved away from the line of carriages, hand and hand, Martha glanced up at him and smiled thoughtfully, "That was really amazing. Thank you again."

He returned her gaze and smile as he replied, "It was my pleasure." The pair then walked a little further up and the Doctor hailed a cab. He deftly helped her inside before joining her.

"Where to?" the driver asked.

The Doctor raised an eyebrow and gave Martha a smile before replying, "I was thinking dinner?"

Martha returned his smile, "I could eat."

"Good . . . "He then turned his attention back to the cabbie and said, "The Twenty-One Club, if you please."

Martha's eyes widened as the Doctor sat back and the driver began forward. That was one of the most famous historical clubs in New York. She'd read about its history and even took a virtual tour of the place on-line. It was one of the places she had hoped to get to while there and now here she was on her way with the Doctor by her side.

She looked back over to him and nudged him, "You're just full of surprises aren't you?"

He held her gaze and with a more serious smile replied, "You have no idea." The pair shared a quiet chuckle as their next destination soon came into view.


	12. Chapter 9C

**C . . .**

The Twenty-One Club was like stepping back into 20th century America. The motif was set in the 1930's and enveloped all who ventured into the establishment. Martha and the Doctor were no exception. It was almost as if they had taken a trip in the TARDIS back to the time period. From their period furniture to the full wall murals of famous New York landmarks in the 1930's, the place just exuded New York style and sophistication. They were warmly greeted by the host. Who, after checking for and finding the reservation for Dr. Smith, led the Doctor and Martha through the bustling main dining area, up a short flight of stairs to a more intimate dining area, which the host introduced as 'Upstairs at 21'. Martha was again amazed by both the setting and the gesture. As she looked around in the soft light and observed the many couples, young and old alike, enjoying the lovely and cozy atmosphere, she couldn't keep a smile from blazing upon her face as she was guided to a table.

The host moved ahead and pulled out a chair for Martha and gently pushed her to the table once she had taken it. When the Doctor joined her, the host stepped away, promising them their waiter would be along promptly. The brief moment alone was spent by both smiling at each other and their surroundings. "So, two for two, then?" he playfully offered.

Martha arched her eyebrows with a soft smirk, "Nothing wrong with your ego."

"Oi!" was all he was able to get out before their waiter, Steven, joined them. He first offered them a wine list from which the Doctor chose a white chardonnay and also a rundown of the house specials. Once he departed again to let them decided, the duo began to look over the menu in silence before the Doctor looked over at his tablemate and softly asked, "You are having a good time though?"

Martha glanced up and thought she saw a brief instant of uncertainty in his eyes. She though brushed that thought aside and gave him a more reassuring beam as she replied, "I really am."

His smile grew, "Good . . . it's great to see you smiling again."

"It's good to have something to smile about again," she returned before looking back to her menu a bit too quickly.

She was really trying to temper her response to all of this. Again past experiences with the Doctor told her that reading too much into any situation with him was bound to have a negative effect. Yet she did want him to know how much she appreciated the effort he was putting into this. For his part the Doctor was also trying to walk that fine line between doing too much and not enough. He knew he had so much to make up for with Martha and planned to do so if he could just convince her to rejoin him in his travels. He knew if he had time with her he could show her not just all the universe had to offer but also what she truly meant to him.

Steven again interrupted their interlude, opening and pouring their wine before asking if they were prepared to order. The pair nodded in unison before Martha ordered first, a romaine and radicchio salad to start with and vegetable risotto as her main dish. The Doctor opted for butternut squash soup and organic grilled chicken breast. Once Steven left with their orders, each took a generous sip of the wine before Martha decided to initiate conversation between the pair. With a soft smile, she good-naturedly began, "So what escapades did you have to abandon in order to join the search party for me?"

He heard the lightheartedness in her tone and decided to follow her lead for now.

"Well, you know me. A little of this and a little of that but nothing too Earth shattering."

Martha raised an eyebrow as she moved her glass away from her lips and skeptically retorted, "Really?"

His smile grew, "If you really want to know . . ." She took another sip of her wine and urged him on with her eyes.

So the Doctor began in on his tale of meeting a pharaoh in ancient Egypt who meant to keep the Doctor as his personal mystic because he believed he could tell the future because of some of the things he said about events that hadn't come to pass yet. When the Doctor tried to explain that he wasn't a mystic but a Time Lord, the pharaoh took that as a challenge to his throne and attempted to have him executed. He paused when Steven returned with their soup and salad and then continued on to recount how after a series of near misses, the Doctor was cornered by the palace guards and nearly out of options when he noticed one of the royal felines lazing around. He reached for it and held over a nearby balcony as if he was going to toss it over. Martha nearly choked on her salad at the vision of the Doctor holding a kitty hostage. He continued on explaining that his actions caused the guards to hesitate just long enough for him to assess his situation. He then looked back at them once more and with a smirk dropped the cat and then flung himself over afterwards. The stunned guards took a moment before following and looking over the railing to see that there had been a canopy there that both the cat and Doctor used to pad their landing.

"Besides, it was rubbish for them to think that I would actually hurt an innocent animal and on top of that everyone knows cats always land on their feet . . . well most of the time," he concluded with a flourish.

Martha offered a quiet chuckle as she shook her head, "Same old, Doctor."

He gave her a playful wink as he took a long sip of his drink before his eyes and demeanor became more serious, "So how about you Martha Jones? How has life been treating you?"

The question was expected yet Martha found herself unprepared to answer it. The evening had been so fun and light up until then that she almost hoped that they could leave the heavy stuff for another time. However, she knew the Doctor too well to truly believe he would let things go for too long. She sighed softly and took another sip of wine before beginning, "Doctor . . ." That, though, was as far as she got before Steven returned once more with their main entrees. They each thanked him and quietly turned their attention towards their meals. Martha used the time to try and think of how to answer his inquires and the Doctor used it to figure out how to get her to open up to him like she never had before.

It wasn't until halfway through their meal that the Doctor decided to steer the conversation back to earlier. Softly, he began, "So I gathered from both Francine and Jack that you've been having a hard time of late." He paused and gazed at her. Her jaw instantly tightened on the fork she'd just placed back in her mouth. The Doctor, though, pressed forward, "Care to share?" Martha now slowly removed the silverware from her mouth and deliberately chewed the bite of food in her mouth before responding.

"Not too much to share. We both know my mum has a tendency to overreact and well Jack . . . we both know Jack," she returned with a smirk.

The Doctor wasn't deterred, "Yes we do but that doesn't mean that either of them don't have reason to be concerned. Something happened to make you leave and to alarm them. So talk to me . . . tell me what's changed."

A flash of frustration overtook her and she let her fork drop to her plate with a clank, "Why? You never did answer my question the other day. Why does it matter to you so much? In all the time we traveled together you barely took the time to get to know me let alone what was going on in my family life so why now? Is it guilt? Because if this is you feeling guilty don't. . . I made the choices I made. I chose to follow you through that hospital and down that alleyway and across the universe and back. Those were my choices and I have to deal with the repercussions."

The Doctor looked away briefly. He knew she was on point with most of what she was saying. He hadn't taken as keen an interest in Martha and her life when they were together. He was too caught up in their adventuring and trying to forget another time when he had gotten too attached to inquire much about where she came from. He also felt responsible for taking her away from a promising life as an MD. No he didn't force her to go but he encouraged it and kept enticing her to stay. She deserved so much more than he gave her back then . . . so much more than he was willing to give at the time but now as he sat looking at her across from him, he wanted to know everything. He needed to know what she'd become and why so that he could be the one to help her through whatever she was going through.

He finally refocused on her gaze and sighed quietly as he replied, "You're right. I didn't take the time to get to know you like I should have back then but this is now. You and what you're going through matters, Martha. Not because of guilt but because you matter to me."

Martha narrowed her eyes at his gentle admission. It was the most sincere thing she could remember him saying to her. Her agitation quickly waned and was replaced by a more apologetic tone, "I'm sorry. We were supposed to be putting all of that behind us and here I am dredging it up again."

"Don't apologize, just tell me what's going on so that we can move past it," he replied.

She sighed this time, "I don't know where to begin."

He reached across the table and covered one of her hands with his and gave it a light squeeze before suggesting, "How about with your mum and dad?"

"What?"

A light smile played on his lips, "You know. . . how they met, what it was like growing up around them, how they ended up screaming at the top of their lungs at each other on your brother's birthday."

She looked at him skeptically, "You don't want to hear about all of that."

"Of course I do because all of that helped to make you who you are and I want to know you better," he answered sincerely.

Martha was now at a loss. His eyes were focused squarely on her waiting for her to begin and she could not find the words because his words were echoing in her ears, _you matter to me . . . I want to know you better. _She never thought she'd hear either phrase from him yet here they were sitting a fancy restaurant in New York City chatting like she'd always imagined but never believed they would.

She finally allowed a faint smile to come across her face as she said, "Alright, but remember you asked for this."

He joined her in the smile and nodded for her to begin. And so it was Martha Jones' turn to go into an extended dialogue about herself. By the time they had finished their meals and shared a dessert, blueberry upside down cake with a lemon sauce, Martha had told him a fairly extensive history of her family finishing with the story of her, Tish and Leo taking Peter Pan to heart and trying to fly via the roof of their family house and a well-placed trampoline that is until Francine caught them.

His smile broadened, "So Dr. Jones, you were already an adventurer at heart."

She returned his glow, "Honestly, I was going to back out until both Tish and Leo did it and then proceeded to make chicken noises at me."

He joined her in her chuckle at the memory. It made both his hearts soar to hear her laughter. If he had to venture a guess she hadn't had much cause to do so recently. Hearing her talking about her family life and the ups and downs they all endured he couldn't help but feel drawn closer to her. Yes, he knew she was brave, compassionate, and brilliant but to hear of all the things that went into that made him appreciate the woman she was that much more and made him want to keep her in his life as well.

After paying the bill and tipping Steven, handsomely, the pair made their way back out into the New York evening. The city, as always, was still a buzz with energy and while there were plenty of cabs lined up near the restaurant, the Doctor turned to his companion and inquired, "Fancy a walk? I have one more place I'd like to take you before we call it a night."

She looked up and gave him a long look before nodding, "Lead the way." He held out his arm and she looped hers through his and the duo set off up 52nd St. in search of one more adventure that night.


	13. Chapter 9D

**Well, here's the last part of their evening. I hope you enjoy.**

**D . . .**

The twosome leisurely made their way up 51st street, catching glimpses of numerous shops and people enjoying the evening as well. They passed the Gershwin Theater and the Doctor mentioned some trivia about its namesake, George Gershwin, as they continued their trek. A short while later they stood marveling before the Radio City Music Hall and Rockefeller Plaza. Martha ogled the famous landmarks with complete awe while the Doctor grinned at her reaction.

"This is amazing . . . bloody amazing," she quietly offered.

The Doctor leaned in closer and softly added, "That's not all that's amazing."

She glanced over at him, surprised, but before she could catch his demeanor he began to move them towards the entryway of the Rockefeller center. As they made their way through the masses inside the lobby, they eventually wound up on an elevator that quickly shot them up the large building. A gust of wind greeted them when the elevator doors reopened. Stepping out into the night air again the Doctor took her by the hand and led her out onto a terrace that offered, by far, the most spectacular view she had seen of the city yet. Before her and all around was an unobstructed view of all of Manhattan. Like a little girl at Christmas time, Martha rushed forward and found an open spot that gave her an unfettered view of Central Park at night. She was enthralled anew at the size of not just the park but of the cityscape and found herself momentarily mesmerized by the view. Her trance, though, was broken by the Doctor speaking softly into her ear, "Let's say we take in the full effect."

She glanced over at him with a bright smile, "Alright."

Martha allowed him to guide her all the way around the deck, taking in the 360 degree view offered by the building. Every angle took her breath away and she tried desperately to sear each image in her mind, in case she never made it back. Eventually the pair made their way completely around and settled in front of the view of the hustle and bustle of downtown.

With her gaze planted firmly on the night time view of New York's Time Square, she repeated her early decree, "Bloody amazing."

"Everything we've seen and done in the universe and it's something completely human that makes you marvel. A brilliant lot, you are, when you want to be," the Doctor added. Martha only smiled at the compliment. They allowed the quiet between them to linger for a bit before the Doctor finally turned his attention from the view to his companion and inquired, "So what is it going to take?"

Martha tore her gaze away from the view as well and looked at him confused," I'm sorry?"

"What will it take to convince you that I want you to travel with me and not just anyone?" he clarified.

Martha sighed before looking back on the skyline. She knew this was coming but there was still so much she was unsure of. "Let me ask a question . . . why did you kiss me that day in my apartment?"

Silence immediately engulfed the duo as the Doctor began to rattle off in his mind all of the reasons he could give for that exchange. He could say it was an impulse or a soothing gesture but the truth was far more simple . . . he had wanted to. Since the first day they met . . . since that first "genetic transfer" he wanted to kiss her again, without pretense, without condition. However before he could begin to put this sentiment into words, Martha had him in her gaze again.

Shaking her head, "That's why I'm hedging about your offer because I never know where I stand with you, Doctor. The guessing from moment to moment is just too much. I played that game once and got burned. I won't do it again. I need to know what I'm walking into and if you can't tell me then there's no chance of me coming back ." She let her words hang between as she continued to study him intensely.

The Doctor held her gaze a moment longer before finding his vision shifting to the nighttime sky as well. There it was. Martha had thrown down the gantlet. She needed him to give some indication that past mistakes would not be repeated. It was time for him to be as direct as he ever had or risk her walking away for good this time. So as he leaned against the observatory wall, he quietly began his reply, "You're right. I wasn't fair to you then. I kept giving you mixed signals, getting your hopes up and then dashing them. It was partly because of all the things I told you before but also because I wasn't sure what to make of you."

He paused and glanced at her. She narrowed her gaze at him, prepared to ask him what he meant but he continued on before she could. "Honestly, Martha, back then you scared second you agreed to join me out on that balcony on the moon I knew I was in trouble. I was feeling things for you that I had no business feeling at the time. Here was this energetic, intelligent, fearless young woman ready to step out of her safety zone and embrace the improbable without a second thought to her safety. You amazed me with you poise and daring . . . your willingness to face the unknown and barely flinch. "

Martha appeared dumfounded at his words but finally cut in, "But you never said. . . never even let on."

He sighed as he turned completely and looked at her squarely, "How could I? I told you before I had just recently lost Rose. I would have felt like I was disrespecting her memory if I would have suddenly appeared to be replacing her with you. I let her down, I let my people down . . . I didn't want to add you to that list. My penance was to deny myself anything remotely happy. I knew I didn't deserve someone like you in my life and I did everything I could to prove that but you stayed in spite of me. You put up with my moodiness, my rudeness, my self- destructive behavior and stood by me even when the earth was burning. Yet I still couldn't risk allowing you to become something more because I could not take losing one more thing I really cared about." He paused and put on a somber smile, "Funny that. Turns out there are some things even a Time Lord can't control."

She returned his subdued beam. The Doctor revealing his inner turmoil was a rarity, the memory of them in that New New York alleyway flashing through her mind, but when he did it moved her like little else. Martha reached out and took one of his hands into hers and gave it a light squeeze. He returned the gesture as he continued on.

"Martha, I wish I could promise you everything. I wish I could promise you forever but I just can't. All I have to offer is me . . . an aged, brooding yet amazingly clever alien," he added with a playful smirk.

Martha shook her head, "I told you I wasn't after that from you and I meant it. I would never suggest forever either because I'm only human and I know I don't have it." He smiled thoughtfully at her assessment. "All I'm asking is that you be straight with me. No games, no allusions, just . . . just be honest with me."

He nodded and took in a deep breath, "I kissed you because it felt right . . . because I wanted to for a long time. I want you with me because you are brave and strong and look out for me even when I won't look after myself. And most important, I need you with me because you keep me grounded. I can't make you any promises about what might happen but I can promise you I will never take you for granted again."

Her smiled widened at his long overdue admissions. "Good . . . because I can't accept anything less this time. And while I know I can't promise you forever, I can promise you always." She paused briefly at his now raised brow but carried on before he could interject. "I will always be here for you, to look out for you and make sure to pull you back if you drift too far. I will always have your back . . . you never have to wonder if I will cut and run because I won't. I will always keep fighting, even if things look hopeless because I know you will too. And I will always, always be there when you need me; all you have to do is say the word."

The Doctor mulled this declaration over for a bit. She was effectively offering her whole self to him. In the past he might have brushed it off or run for the hills but this time he wanted nothing more than to embrace it. To have something and someone he knew would be there no matter what was something he never believed he could have but now . . .

Martha now quietly watched as he took in everything she had said. She knew in a moment he would realize that she had answered his question but as he stood poised to respond, she took a few moments of her own to reflect on his speech. Her heart turned over when he admitted that he kissed her for no other reason than desire. Maybe it wasn't movie caliber romance but what was? And then his confessions about why he was so distant and what he saw in her just cinched it for her. He needed her and as she had always known somewhere deep inside, she needed him too.

He finally broke through her musings with an almost hesitant question, "So are you saying?"

She nodded, "I would love to see more of the universe with you."

His trademark grin beamed brightly as he easily scooped her up into a warm embrace. Martha joined him in the glow and held on just as tight. Blimey, how she had missed this. The couple stayed that way for long while before Martha finally interrupted the joviality with a bit more reality. She softly spoke in his ear, "But . . . there is one more thing that has to happen before." The Doctor loosened his hold, allowing her to slide back to her feet. With his arms still at her waist and her hands resting on his chest, he found her gaze and saw the seriousness etched there before he finished her thought, "Your family."

She nodded, "I think it's time I go talk with them . . . about everything."

His smile waned only slightly as he agreed, "Of course."

Martha's smile returned and the pair just stood that way, gazing at each other until their interlude was broken by a young man sporting a Kodak logo windbreaker.

"How about a photo to capture the moment," he asked with a smile of his own.

The doctor raised a brow, "What do you say, Dr. Jones?"

Her smile brightened, "Why not?"

So as the young man got set up, the Doctor with Martha hugged at his side turned their beams to the camera lens and immortalized their new beginning in front of the most brilliant view of New York City.


	14. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten . . . **

The Doctor stood anxiously behind Martha as they prepared to enter her mother's home. After their 'date' Martha had finally called her family and let them know she was fine and would be coming home in a day or so. Francine was full of questions but Martha promised to explain everything when she arrived. So after receiving a promise from her mum to have the whole family there when she arrived, Martha begged off. She then asked a favor of the Doctor that he was very reluctant to acquiesce.

_Martha walked into the TARDIS console room hesitantly. He looked up from the monitor as she came towards him and could immediately see she was anxious. He figured it was because they were planning to return to London later that day. He gave her a reassuring smile as she made it to his side and softly said, "It will be OK. They'll be so happy to see you the other stuff will be minor." _

_Martha gave him a smirk, "This is my mum were talking about." _

_His grin brightened, "Alright, maybe a bit more than minor but not more important than having you back home." _

"_Even if it's only for a visit before I'm off with you?" she apprehensively returned. He just nodded at her assessment this time. _

_She sighed and then continued, "Doctor, there's something I want to ask you but I know how you generally feel about it so I'm not sure if I should." _

_He lightly nudged her and replied, "Try me." _

_She turned and looked up at him and slowly began, "I am nervous about seeing my family and it would help calm me if I had at least one person, or Time Lord, there with me." _

_The Doctor instantly cringed at the suggestion. It wasn't just that he was dreading the exchange with her mother but it was just against his nature to become so involved in human domesticity._

"_Martha, I don't think that's a good idea. Your mum and I have a tentative truce at best. My being there will probably be more of a hindrance than a help." _

"_I don't believe that. If you're there it will show them that this time is different, that this isn't some spur of the moment decision but one we both have come to thoughtfully," she passionately replied. _

"_Martha . . ." _

_But she cut back in, "I promise you won't have to say anything."_

"_Then why do I need to be there?" he returned. _

_Martha stood before him and gingerly placed her hands on his chest before looking up into his eyes and quietly stating, "Because I need you there." _

_He gazed into her eyes for a long moment and saw the meaning of her words there. He'd asked so much of her when they were together and now she was asking something, relatively small, of him. Could he really say no? He sighed quietly and placed his hands on her shoulders as he replied, "Okay . . . for you."_

_She gave him a brilliant smile, "Thank you." _

_He pulled her into a warm embrace which he savored while also realizing he was changing more and more for her and not minding nearly as much as he thought he would._

Now as the pair was poised to face her family, he could see she was right about needing him. Even from behind he could see how tense she was. He gently rested his hands on her shoulders and lightly squeezed. She briefly turned back to him and gave a smile of gratitude. Then with as much resolve as she could muster, she took in a deep breath and rang the doorbell.

After all the hugs and smiles had died down, Martha sat across from her concerned family members and attempted to explain why she handled things the way that she did. She went through her whole thought process for them and attempted to explain that it wasn't her trying to punish them but her trying to figure out what to do with the rest of her life. Francine, of course, was the first to sound off when she was done.

"But, Sweetheart, why didn't just come and talk to us . . . to me?"

Martha sighed, "If you recall you and I haven't been seeing eye to eye on much of late. There were just some things I needed to figure out on my own."

Her sister Tish finally joined in, "And did you?"

Martha paused and looked into the eyes of each of her family members before resolutely replying, "Yes."

"So . . . don't leave us in suspense," Leo tweaked.

Martha gave her first smile since their reunion, "I realized that running from who I am is not the answer. I needed to face the things that pushed me to this point and now I understand that its ok for me to say no and step back when the situation calls for it. For so long, I've always looked out for everyone else and forgot about me but I feel like it's now time for me to reverse that . . ." She paused briefly and continued, "I've decided to go back to doing what I do best, helping others the best way I know how."

This pronouncement brought a smile from her brood and her father finally spoke up, "Does that mean you're going back to your work as a physician?"

"Yes . . . but not in the way that you're thinking."

Her mom furrowed her brow, "What do you mean?"

This time Martha inhaled deeply and threw a quick glance over at the Doctor, who sat at her side on the loveseat. He'd been quiet throughout the exchange but he now offered her a small smile of encouragement as she turned back to the group and dropped her bomb, "I plan to continue to use my skills wherever they are needed, be it here on Earth or elsewhere in the universe."

Everyone immediately caught her meaning but, always one for stating the obvious, Leo spelled it out. "So you're going back on the road?" He offered with a nod towards the Doctor.

Martha nodded, "The Doctor asked me to rejoin him in his travels and I have decided to take him up on it."

The quiet shock of her admission was quickly broken by her mother rising abruptly and harshly replying, "That's ridiculous!"

Eyes rose all around with Martha being more shocked than she expected she would be by her mother's reaction. Her father reached out to try and soothe her but Francine would not be denied. Looking down at her middle child, she spoke as coolly as she had the day they had their last major row, "You can't be serious. After everything, you would go back to that life? If it weren't for everything you went through the last time you went along for a ride with him, you wouldn't have felt the need to disappear."

She shook her head, "I just don't know you anymore, Martha. You are not the child I raised. You're willing to throw away everything you've worked so hard for to follow after some alien that probably sees you as nothing more than a pet."

The Doctor tensed at her accusation and finally attempted to speak up, "Mrs. Jones . . ."

Francine, though, cut him off, "You stay out of this. I knew I shouldn't have trusted you but I won't be making that mistake again."

She then turned her gaze back to her daughter, "Martha, don't do this. Please."

Martha closed her eyes briefly trying to find her own voice before returning her stare to her mother, "Mum . . ."

But Francine could see in those same eyes that her mind was already made up and she threw her hands up in frustration and defeat, "Fine. Do whatever you want." She then turned and stormed out of the room much to everyone's dismay.

Martha rose and looked from the Doctor to her father and siblings, "I better go talk to her."

They all nodded and she quickly followed after her mother. Meanwhile the tension in the room was briefly broken by Tish's cell ringing. She looked at the id and noticed it was her job and so she excused herself to take it, leaving the men alone.

Clive and Leo eyed the Doctor closely now and the Time Lord began to recall all of the reasons he didn't do domestic, with a major reason being the situation he found himself in now. He then sighed inwardly at his thoughts because he recognized that was beginning to change because of Martha. Though this was anything but pleasant or easy, for her he was willing to endure whatever was coming. And not unexpectedly the eldest Jones turned his questions to him.

"So you and Martha are planning to travel together again?" Clive asked.

The Doctor nodded, "Mr. Jones, I understand your and Mrs. Jones's concern. What I do is inherently dangerous but Martha is very capable of taking care of herself and I will always do my best to keep her safe."

Clive inhaled, "I know what my daughter is capable of but I've also glimpsed what your life is like and that concerns me. You say you'll try to keep her safe but there are no guarantees and as my wife, rather rudely, pointed out while Martha may just be another human to you to carry around for a spot, she is our daughter and a sister and her life is immeasurable to us."

"You're right, there are no guarantees but that's true in regular life too. And as far as how I view your daughter, she isn't, and has never been, a pet or some human I've asked along out of boredom. Martha is one of the most brilliant, amazing people I've ever known and also one of the most forgiving. She and I have fought through some of our own demons and I trust her implicitly and I would lay down my lives for her if it was necessary. No, I can't make promises but I can swear to you that I will do everything in my power to keep her around and with me for as long as she wants."

Both Clive and Leo seemed to study him intensely for a long moment before her brother calmly stated, "I believe you."

Clive nodded his agreement. "So do I but I wouldn't be much of a father if I didn't press and also if I didn't tell you that if my daughter is hurt senselessly while she's with you, Francine's wrath will only be a drop in the bucket."

The Doctor held the patriarch's gaze and could see he was dead serious and so equally as seriously he replied, "I would expect nothing less."

The three men then turned their attention to the doorway that Martha and her mother walked through and Leo offered, "Now Martha just has to convince mum and were home free."

He glance at the other two men, who each had on a smirk, before he joined them, "We could be here awhile."

Inside the kitchen, Martha stood in the doorway watching her mother noisily wash dishes. She knew she would have the hardest time with this announcement but had hoped the time apart would have helped to cool some of the stress between them but that obviously was not the case. She sighed, as she knew this would not be an easy sell. Finally, though, she decided to break through the symphony of china and speak, "Mum . . ."

Francine paused her action but didn't turn around. "Mum, please say something."

She turned sharply and spoke in kind, "I don't understand. You have so much potential . . . so much to offer the world but you would throw it all away so you can go following after him like some love sick puppy. I raised you better than that."

Martha cut her mother a cool gaze, "That is not what this is. I'll admit that the first time I went with him I had a bit of a crush but I'm not blindly following after the Doctor this time. I'm going in with my eyes wide open. This is about me and what I need."

She sighed again before finding her way into a chair, "You always talk about my potential and promise but that was part of why I left. The weight of those expectations were starting to take a toll. The past few years I have felt like something was missing from my life. Yes, I had a promising career and people who cared about me but I realized while I was away that even those things could not fill the void I felt. I needed that feeling of discovery and the excitement of seeing and experiencing something new again. With the Doctor, I have an opportunity to rediscover that again and in the process help not just Earth but numerous other planets."

Francine had joined her at the table as she more softly replied, "What about the people who need you here?"

"What about what I need?" she quickly retorted.

Martha reached across the table and covered one of her mother's hands and was quite relived that she did not pull away.

"Don't I, who have done everything that was expected of me, deserve the chance to do something that fulfills me and makes me happy?"

"But this? The last time nearly destroyed you . . . destroyed us all. Are you willing to risk that?"

Martha never even hesitated, " Life is too short to worry about what could happen. I've learned that embracing it is the only way to have real joy. Besides, I believe in the Doctor and know he won't allow harm to come to me or anyone I care about if he can help it."

"I wish I could share your faith but you're my daughter and I can't take that chance."

Martha quietly returned, "I will always be your daughter, mum, but you have to let me live my life the way I see fit. Even if you can't understand and accept my choices, can you at least respect that they are my choices to make?"

Francine looked away from her daughter's gaze and blew out a breath of her own, "It doesn't look like I have much of a choice myself."

Martha squeezed the hand she'd been holding bringing her mother's sights back to her before she softly implored, "Yes you do. You can respect my decision or not. My hope is that you choose the former because I would hate to feel like I couldn't come home. I would also hate for us to part ways again in anger. I love you, mum, so much and I know, have always known, how much you love me. Can we hold on to that and let the other stuff work its self out?"

Francine finally reached out to her daughter, placing a gentle hand on her face, "Sweetheart, no matter what is going on you can always come home. And I definitely don't want our last words to each other to be words of anger but you just have to understand that to me you will always be my baby and I will always be scared for you."

She paused and gave a small smile, "But I also know you are a grown woman now and I have to let go . . . a little."

Martha returned the smile, "So does that mean?"

"It means I'm still not happy about it but for your sake, I will try and support your decision," her mum concluded.

Martha knew, for her mother, this was a big concession and she immediately showed her appreciation for it by reaching for her. Francine returned the gesture and the two women leaned in to a long overdue hug. As they held each other, the mother added one more thing, still concerned that it could be the last time, "I love you too, Martha . . . more than you could ever know."


	15. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven . . . **

Martha and her mother took a few moments to gather themselves before finally rejoining the others in the sitting room. They walked in on the guys watching football on TV and Tish texting on her phone. Martha quietly cleared her throat bringing their attention to the doorway. Her father quickly flipped off the set and everyone rose and looked to the two women standing before them. A brief silence ensued until Leo took it upon himself to again lead the charge.

"So what's the verdict?"

Martha inhaled and looked at each member of the group intently before her eyes settled on the Doctor. He appeared a bit more tentative than the rest. She, though, gave what she hoped was an encouraging smile before her mother finally answered her brother. With a resigned sigh, she spoke stern faced, "Although I still have strong reservations about this, it is Martha's decision to make and I will try to abide by it."

A collective sigh of relief seemed to spread over the room at her declaration. Martha moved further into the room and first found herself standing before her father. He gave her a bright smile before engulfing her in a bear hug. "You take care of yourself, OK? Don't be a stranger and if you need anything . . ." he softly spoke near her ear.

Martha nodded, "I know, Dad, and I will."

She pulled back and gave him a small beam before she turned to her kid brother who, as usual, joked, "You always fancied yourself as Princess Leia, now look at you."

Martha smiled in spite of the tears threatening to fall, "Oi, shut it, you."

The two siblings then shared their own embrace.

"Take care, sis." Leo finally, more seriously, offered.

Martha tearily replied, "I will."

As she stepped from his hold, Martha finally noticed that the Doctor had moved closer to the door. She knew this was probably a bit much for him but she was very happy he had agreed to come. It helped her feel that much more confident in her decision to go with him again.

Her gaze finally trailed back to her family and her older sister stood with glossy eyes staring at her. Martha hugged her fiercely. Of everyone, she would miss Tish the most. Even when they fought she was still the first person she would turn to in a crisis and her big sister was always there with advice or just a shoulder to cry on. And as always, she had words for Martha to live by.

Quietly, she said, "Take care of each other and be happy."

Martha let out a soft sigh, "I promise."

Martha held on a bit longer before she felt a familiar hand on her back. Tish gave her a soft peck on the cheek and released her so that she could turn and face her mother once more. Francine studied her daughter for a long moment before she pulled her into a tight hug of her own. Martha closed her eyes tightly, trying to staunch her tears, while Francine's remained open and focused on the Doctor over her child's shoulder. Her gaze was obstinate and her words directed as much at him as they were at Martha.

"I want you to call often and visit as much as possible and know that this is your home and we'll always be here if you need us."

"I know, mum. I know," she replied before stepping out of her hold and glancing over her entire family one last time.

"I'll be fine." And then she turned and headed towards the Doctor, stopping at his side.

She looked up at him and gave a brilliant smile, "You ready?"

He returned her smile, "Are you?" She nodded as she reached for the door knob.

"Let's do it."

After leaving her parent's home, she and the Doctor swung by her flat to pack up a few more things. Her lease would be up in a couple of months and Tish had promised to pack up whatever she didn't take and put it into storage for her. So as she stood looking around one last time at a place that rarely felt like home for the last time, she sadly smiled at the memories, some good and some not so good, before she turned with her last duffle bag and made her way to another place that had felt like home almost from the beginning.

As she stepped into the TARDIS again, she smiled at the warm greeting the ship offered. Making her way up the ramp, she was met by the Doctor, who had been leaning against the console waiting for her return. He deftly removed the bag from her shoulder and dropped it at their feet before sweeping her up into a secure embrace. Martha was slightly surprised at the action but soon melted into the hold. The pair stayed that way for a long moment before she began to withdraw, slightly. She gazed up at him and softly asked, "What was that for?"

He hunched his shoulders, "Just thought you might need one after everything."

"Look at you, becoming more attentive," she playfully returned with a smile.

He returned her beam and gave her a wink, "I'm working on it."

He then reached for her bag again and carried it off to the side of the room. Martha watched him thoughtfully and then asked, "So where are we off to first?"

He placed the bag back on the ground and then made his way back over to the console, "I thought that was my line. Since this is your first official trip back in the TARDIS, where would you like to go Martha Jones?"

She paused to consider before tossing it back to him, "You choose."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded, "I trust you."

He gave her another grin at both her words and his idea for their first trip together. He'd been thinking a lot about the first time they traveled together and how many times she had been put in tough situations. Specifically the incidents in 1913 and 1969 continued to haunt him. He wanted to replace those memories with more pleasant ones and he had a destination in mind to begin that quest. The Doctor walked over to the monitor and began putting in the coordinates.

Martha moved over to his side, "So . . ."

"Well, I thought we'd give 1969 another go," he began.

She looked over at him with shock, "Really? I would have thought you'd had your fill of that year."

He held her gaze, "I know it wasn't your favorite time either but I was thinking we could visit someplace different . . . someplace a bit more festive."

Martha was, of course, intrigued now.

"Like?"

He began his little dance around the console as he spoke, "Just some "tiny" summer festival around August in a little town called Bethel in New York."

He watched as she tried to work out where he was talking about and when recognition finally showed in her face her eyes widened, "Wait a minute. You don't mean?"

His smile brightened, "Oh yes."

He then flipped the handbrake, sending them spiraling to a historic moment in American history.


	16. Chapter 12

**I really want to thank everyone who read and commented on my story. I really enjoyed writing it and I hope you have enjoyed reading it. I'm working on a continuation of this one in a new story depending on interest. **

**Chapter Twelve . . . **

Martha could barely believe where she was. Even her parents hadn't been old enough, at the time, to come but here she was in a swell of people rhythmically swaying to music. Woodstock. Hippies, drugs, free love and classic rock and roll happened all around her and she was trying hard to take it all in. In the midst of the music and expressions of peace, love and understanding, Martha felt whole again. She was back in her element. Being a part of history, seeing first hand things she had only read or heard about made her feel freer than she had in a long while.

She smiled as she remembered the look on the Doctor's face when she emerged from wardrobe completely decked out in period garb. She had been hesitant to do much of that the first time they traveled together, even more so after Farmington, but she felt if this was indeed to be a second chance, she would do things different on all fronts. So as she stepped into the console room dressed in a blue jean mini skirt, tye-dyed tunic top, earth tone sandals, and a matching blue jean headband, she gave a little twirl and asked what he thought. After gaping for a moment, he regained himself enough to smile and declare her an official flower child.

Now as they both stood within the mass of humanity, she could feel herself becoming caught up in the energy of the music and the moment. They had arrived in the middle of the set of one Janis Joplin, which Martha refused to believe was a coincidence considering how much he went on and on about that brown overcoat she'd given him. As she listened to the sultry, melodic voice of a music icon, she found herself starting to move and sway with the words and rhythm. She closed her eyes and listened to the sometimes sorrowful and powerful lyrics, allowing herself to feel what the singer did when she sang them. On many levels, Martha felt as if she was singing straight to her. Her songs 'Piece of my Heart and Try Harder' spoke to her as a woman who had fought to find and hold on to something . . . someone she had wanted . . . a woman ready to sacrifice everything, including her heart to have her heart's desire.

She was, in fact, so completely lost in the music and her thoughts that she started when she suddenly felt fingers intertwine with hers. She glanced to her side and saw the Doctor's profile. Preparing to feel embarrassed for getting so carried away, she was halted by his speaking right near her ear, "Enjoying yourself?"

Fighting off the chill that shot through her as his breath caressed her skin, she replied, "So much. Thank you."

He deftly grasped hold of her other hand, gently turning her towards him and with a warm smile that she couldn't help but echo, he looked her directly in the eyes and replied, "No. Thank you."

Martha's smiled brightened as she thought of what his gratitude was all about. Yet before she could inquire, h e slipped his hands from hers and brought them up to her face, cupping it. Then without breaking eye contact he began to gravitate closer to her face. Martha was still coming to terms with the new relationship they were forging and was anxious about what came next. However, when his lips found hers, she found herself relaxing into the embrace almost immediately. It was a soft tender kiss that reminded her of her first kiss as a young girl. Very innocent and new. His lips were thin and gentle against her full and supple ones and the contrast made the connection, in her mind, that much more electric. As their lips continued to dance, Martha's hands found their way up to his and rested on top of them, as though afraid he might let go. The Doctor, though, held firm with his thumbs lightly caressing the skin on her cheeks with each stroke. The passion was obvious and the message clear. This was their time. Time to rediscover, to care and to love.

It wasn't until the crowd shifted that the pair was brought out of their momentary reverie. Slowly they both pulled back from the kiss but maintained the intimate contact, with their foreheads resting together. They stood staring into each other's eyes as the music played on and Martha briefly thought of making a joke about another genetic transfer, a residual impulse from their first time together. But as she continued to hold his gaze, she could see that this was not that kind of moment. There would be no regrets from his side or from hers. There was no need to make apologies or jokes. This was indeed their second chance and this time they would both do their very best to get it right. So with another shared smile, the couple clasped hands together and without a word began to make their way back through the crowd . . . back to their ship and on to whatever adventures they found together.

TBC . . .


End file.
